


white blank page

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Police, Canon-Typical Violence, Dimitri's usual self loathing bullshit, F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, M/M, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Survivor Guilt, it's a cop story more more do you want me from me, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-02-12 13:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21477142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “How have you been?”“We’re not doing this.” It was the same cold tone she had heard back in the briefing room. “We’re not friends, we’re not lovers, and you sure as hell aren’t my partner. This is nothing more than an order from the Captain that’s going to be followed because that's what required in this job.” He handed her a casefile. “I already told you in the briefing room that I don't need a partner and I do just fine on my own. Remember that.”Maybe this was a bad idea after all.[on hiatus.]
Relationships: Annette Fantine Dominic & Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Mercedes von Martritz/Dedue Molinaro, Sylvain Jose Gautier/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 36
Kudos: 191





	1. eyes wide open

**Author's Note:**

> look. it was only a matter of time before i wrote a cop au. i am a true crime junkie and this is probably the most useful thing my criminal justice degree is good for. let me live my life. anytime i write fanfiction i write a cop au. or i mostly write cop aus, i'll be honest with myself. and i am procrastinating HARD on finishing the church of serios route. that last level??? what a bitch to finish. it is the hardest level i've played by far and i am struggling. 
> 
> real talk tho, this is obviously a modern au. are people somewhat out of character? you bet. is dimitri swearing? you fuckin bet he is. is he still that stupidly angry boy? damn right. is byleth gonna put up with his shit? hell no. does she love him anyways? ofc what kind of question is that. i have everything that i want to happen in this story all written out but i've only ever finished a a multi-chapter story once, like ten years ago. so here we go again. title subject to change, not sorry about it. 
> 
> everyone is significantly older than they are in the game. so they would have been in the academy at the earliest 21, which is six months of training, then at least another five months of on the job training and wouldn't really be on their own until they were 22/23 at the youngest. so after all that jazz it's at least 3-5 years before you are considered to be a detective and they've all been detectives give or take two years so they're like 30/31. give or take. i understand it's a fictional world but look policing is my jam and i try to keep anything i do in a modern au as realistic as possible. ok sorry my notes are always like a novel lmaoo onward!

“Okay. I got a really serious question for you.”

Dimitri sighed, making no moves to look up from his paperwork. Given the fact that Sylvain was hovering over his desk and he knew that Ingrid was watching from afar, the blonde knew _exactly _what was going to be asked. Instead of giving him a response, Dimitri typed away at his computer.

“Can you like, see? Like with the eyepatch and everything?”

“You’ve asked me this _every month_ since I got back from medical leave. It’s been _six _months. What do you think the answer is?” Dimitri growled as he leaned back in his chair, finally taking a break from the paperwork. “I wouldn’t be here if I couldn’t fucking see, Sylvain. You know that the Captain wouldn’t have approved that.” Dimitri pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to calm down his annoyance. “Ingrid, can you please, for fucks sake, tell your partner to fuck right off?”

A smirk appeared on Sylvain’s lip as Ingrid materialized from the background, an apologetic look on her face. “Come on, Dimitri, you know I’m just riling you up. Anyways, the real reason I came over is to tell you that everyone is needed in the briefing room. And by everyone, that means you. Even Cap said, and I quote, “Don’t let that sulky emo bastard hide away in the records room! He has to be here too!”

“Oh my God, he did not say that. Nobody said that but you,” Ingrid rolled her eyes as she pulled her partner back from Dimitri’s personal space. Despite what her partner liked to do, she knew there was no point in trying to antagonize Dimitri. It had been two years since he had lost his partner and every day, his personality darkened. The stab to his eye and loss of vision didn’t help with his misery.

Some time ago, Ingrid would have done something about it. In fact, she had for the better part of a year. She had tried constantly to bring Dimitri out of his shell, invite him to when they would go out for a drink after a long shift or a hard case, to make sure that he was always included no matter what. But after he had slammed the door in her face and had told her to fuck off for what felt like the thousandth time, she had given up.

Ingrid knew she wasn’t the only one. It was the new normal of the precinct. 

Sylvain shrugged as he walked away. Ingrid titled her head to the side. It was still weird adjusting to the eye patch that covered Dimitri’s eye.

“Captain did call everyone into the briefing room. Starts in five. He said bring your coffee, it’s going to be a long one.” With that, she turned on her heels and walked away from her former friend.

Dimitri scowled to no one in particular. There had been a time when he had enjoyed the emergency briefings. It had been a time for the precinct to get together, bullshit about whatever case they had been assigned to them and start the day off right. Now? Now it was just an annoyance and getting in the way of solving the cases that were piling up on his desk.

Putting his badge around his neck, Dimitri stood up from his desk and looked around. There was something different in the atmosphere. Everyone seemed to be more on edge, which was usually indicative of another jurisdiction stepping in.

_Just what I fucking need. More people, _Dimitri thought to himself as he slipped into the briefing room, his coffee in hand, making a dash for the back corner. Nobody sat next to him back there anymore. He could sip his coffee and brood in peace. It also gave him the best vantage point for surveilling the room. Something was definitely off but he couldn’t put his finger on it just yet. A stab in the dark would say that the feds were coming in but it didn’t have the same chaotic atmosphere that the feds brought. No, his superiors seemed rather calm which meant there was nobody to impress.

The conversation was the same run of the mill conversation they had every morning. The sergeant went over what had happened last night, what patrol wanted them to look out for, and anything else that would have been important to the start of the day shift. Ashe gave an overview of what was going on downstairs with patrol and Annette was talking about something to do with administrative filings, Dimitri didn’t know. When it came to patrol and admin talking, he started to tune out.

It wasn’t until the Captain stood up and took the center stage. This caught everyone’s attention; Captain Seteth had always been the one who sat back and watched and let everyone run the show. He only spoke up when something mattered and had a dramatic impact on their day to day operations.

“As you know, we’ve been trying to fill a detective spot for some time now.”

Dimitri’s heart ran cold as he gripped his coffee cup, almost crushing it in the process. The spot they had been trying to fill had been open for the better part of two years, left empty by his former partner. Nobody stayed longer than three months, all having to leave because of “Dimitri’s cold personality creates a hostile work environment and nobody wants to put up with that shit,” or something along those lines.

He hadn’t realized that there was someone standing to the left of Seteth, closer to the door. _Foolish_, he thought to himself. How could he be so careless not to recognize the unknown? The person, a woman, Dimitri realized, moved closer as Seteth continued to speak.

“She’s been with the department for about nine years, transferring from Enbarr. Captain von Hresvelg speaks highly of her.”

Another scowl appeared on Dimitri’s face. That was another name he never wanted to hear spoken out loud. Whatever Seteth had planned up his sleeves and whatever sense of trust he had in his captain disappeared instantly knowing where the transfer had come from. Edelgard couldn’t be trusted.

Looking up from up from his coffee cup, Dimitri felt the wind get knocked out of him as he stared at the female detective that was now next to Seteth. It was a face he hadn’t seen in about five years and it sent a shiver down his spine. There was no way that this was a possibility. Could it be the woman he had so desperately fallen in love with during the police academy, the one who became his closest confidant when they started their respective careers, and the one who had just disappeared from his life five years ago?

Yes. Yes it could be.

“I believe some of you already know her from the academy, if I’m not mistaken.”

The coffee cup crushed under his grasp. He didn’t listen to what Seteth was saying; he already knew her name. At least four of them knew of her, Dimitri included. They had all wound up at the same academy. He could see Ingrid’s knowing look, Sylvain’s smirk and Felix’s face of indifference as Seteth introduced her.

A loud wolf whistle echoed the room, followed by the sound of Ingrid smacking Sylvain on the head with a stack of files.

“Glad to see you haven’t changed, Sylvain.”

Dimitri was frozen as he looked at Byleth. There she was, standing in front of him, still the same. Her tone was still no-nonsense and God, she hadn’t aged a day. She still looked just as beautiful as ever. Even after all this time, the feelings of love were still there. He hated that they were. He had spent so long pushing his feelings on her to side. It was an unhealthy coping mechanism, that’s what Mercedes had called it. Didn’t matter to Dimitri. Everyone around him knew he held onto anything that gave him a strong sense of emotion longer than he should have.

“Oh, I’ve changed in a lot of ways, babe. Care to join me over a glass of wine and I can show you?”

“We _just _had a training on sexual harassment, Gautier!” Seteh exclaimed, although if he was being honest with himself he wasn’t sure why he was surprised.

“Can you blame a guy for trying, Cap?”

“I can, actually. You and I both know that I’m a whiskey girl,” Byleth chimed in, her face emotionless, despite the slight teasing tone. Dimitri didn’t have to look at her to know that there was a small smile on her face, something that would be missed to everyone but him.

Seteth sighed. “As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted, this is Detective Einser. She’ll be partnered with Detective Blaiddyd.”

The room went silent and dropped ten degrees as everyone slowly turned back to look at Dimitri.

“Nope. No thanks. Don’t need a partner. Don’t _want _a partner. I work just fine on my own.” His tone was cold and dismissive. It was the same song and dance every time a partner had been dropped at his desk. And there was no way in hell that he was going to let Byleth stay as long as the others had. He would have her packing her bags within weeks.

“It’s an order. You don’t have a choice, Blaiddyd.”

_Fuck me._

* * *

Byleth was uncomfortable.

It took a lot for her to feel that way. She hadn’t felt much emotion before signing up to be a police officer, what with having a famous police captain as a father, and she didn’t feel much more after starting her career. But sitting in front of her was one of her closest friends.

Or well, was one of her closest friends. Byleth had burned that bridge a long time ago.

She shifted in her chair, unsure of what to do. Byleth had known that this day was coming since she got her transfer orders and had talked with Seteth. She had always known that it was a possibility, given her luck and how small the city was, but it didn’t make it any easier to process. Hadn’t Seteth read her file and had known exactly what had happened? Of course he had. Did he care? Guess not.

“How have you been?”

“We’re not doing this.” It was the same cold tone she had heard back in the briefing room. “We’re not friends, we’re not lovers, and you sure as hell aren’t my partner. This is nothing more than an order from the Captain that’s going to be followed because that’s what I do.” He handed her a casefile. “I already told you in the briefing room that I need a partner and I do just fine on my own. Remember that.”

“Then why did you give me a casefile?”

The question was a challenge. _Do you still trust me or not? _Byleth knew that the answer had to be no, she wouldn’t trust herself either, but his actions seemed to speak louder than his words.

Dimitri didn’t respond. Instead, he flipped through another casefile on his desk and pointedly ignored her. The no could not be any louder.

Maybe this was a bad idea after all.


	2. swelling rage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh. it's long. lmao. it sets the stage for pretty much everything and highlights the current dynamics between byleth and dimitri so yanno, it's long. anyways i love dedue and mercedes and i cry. things will become clearer with what happened between byleth and dimitri but she basically abandoned him five years ago so there's that. dimitri got abandonment issues. extreme ones. yikes. 
> 
> back to my golden deer route i go, as i finally beat the church of seiros route. i love claude a lot.

The past three weeks were not as bad as Byleth had expected them to be.

She knew that they would have to create their new normal, something that would help ease the misery they both were facing (Dimitri might have put on a façade but she could see right through it). What she had hoped was that after a week or so of being around each other, they would fall into something that was comfortable. What Byleth hadn’t expected was for it to be a cold shoulder and Dimitri really only engaging with her when the circumstances called for it.

Byleth took what she could get it. It was better than the two of them talking about their past and the abandonment issues she was sure she had caused. And if she hadn’t caused them, she had at least made them worse.

With the two coffees in her hand, she kicked the door to the car with her foot, trying to get her partner’s attention. It worked, as she could see the scowl on his face as he opened the door for her before settling back into the drivers seat.

“Figured we could do with some coffee, we’ve been here since two a.m., and it’s almost ten a.m.” Byleth handed the larger cup over to Dimitri. “Large americano, approximately one eighth of an inch of cream? Am I right?”

Dimitri looked at Byleth, his brows furrowing. She was right, of course she was right, but he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of admitting to that. He took the coffee from her hand and sighed. Even after three weeks, he could feel parts of his walls chipping away and he hated it with every fiber of his being. The lone wolf persona worked better in his favour.

“Still drink that sugary shit?”

“It’s a hazelnut latte, it’s not even sugary. Not my fault you can’t taste shit and prefer bitterness in the effort to ‘try and see if you can properly taste something’ or whatever your excuse is now.” Her tone was almost joking. A lot of their conversations had danced between joking and snarky. Even Byleth couldn’t tell the difference anymore.

“Hmph.”

Dimitri set the coffee down in the center console and looked out the front window, trying to see any signs of life. They had been staring at an empty warehouse since the early hours of the morning. While Dimitri had no problem with survallience of a suspect, he preferred to do it alone. At least Byleth had learned not to talk as much.

“We haven’t seen shit in hours. You sure your source is good?” His fingers rapped against the sterling wheel. It was a nervous twitch, one that Byleth was well aware of.

“Have a little faith in me. I wouldn’t be going off shit information. Got a cop buddy who transferred from Garreg Mach to here and he’s got a hell of a CI.” Byleth took a sip of her coffee, her eyes fixated on the front door of the warehouse. “I know you don’t trust me anymore but for fucks sake, do it just this once.”

“Not a fucking chance.” The response was instant and ice cold.

Byleth didn’t say anything as they watched the door to the warehouse in icy silence.

* * *

“Sorry Teach! Didn’t expect him to come at you so fast. You okay? You need to go to the hospital?” Claude asked as he handed Byleth an ice pack. In the background, she could hear Dimitri reading the suspect his rights.

Everything had happened in a blur. She had received a text from Claude giving her the heads up that someone might have been spooked, which have blown the whole operation. Just as they were about to back out of their surveillance spot, someone had entered the warehouse. Within moments, Dimitri and Byleth had entered, guns drawn, trying to lure out the suspect.

There had been the sound of something metal hitting the ground and the next thing Byleth knew, her gun had been dropped to the floor and she was on the ground, the wind knocked out of her but still determined to fight. She didn’t have a chance as Dimitri had come up behind the suspect and yanked him off her with such force that Byleth knew would result in an internal affairs investigation.

There was something else that had caught her attention; the look in Dimitri’s eyes. It was a franatic look of panic, like he was scared that she was hurt and was in danger. It had been replaced quickly by an empty void as he handled the suspect.

“I’m fine, I just had the wind knocked out of me. What about you? You and your guys good?”

Claude nodded. “Yeah, we came in right after you and were able to get the cocaine that he was trying to stash in a vent. Didn’t do so well.” The brown-haired man looked at Byleth and back at Dimitri before looking back at Byleth, his voice dropping. “How’d you wind up with Blaiddyd? Ignatz was his partner for a month about a year ago. He tore him to shreds.”

Byleth put the ice pack to her head. Even if she wasn’t worried about a concussion, her head was still throbbing from the impact. “Remember how I told you I have history with a few people in Fhirdiad?” Claude nodded in understanding. “He’s one of them. It’s a long, complicated story. I’ll tell you over a drink one night.”

“Deal.”

* * *

_Look at you. You’re just sitting there, letting her talk to him. Why don’t you do something about it? Oh, that’s right, she’ll leave you too. Again. Do I need to add again? Can you really blame her for leaving you? Pathetic, weak, useless-_

“Shut up!” His hold on the suspect tightened as he walked him to the holding cell. The entire time he had been handling the arrest, Dimitri had been watching the interaction between his partner and Claude, someone he knew from various departmental training. It had ignited a rage he hadn’t felt in a long time – jealously.

Jealously looked and sounded like all the others. They were fragments of the people he had once known; his father, Deude, even Byleth. And right now? Jealously was the loudest.

“Hey, I didn’t say nothin’, man,” the suspect said as Dimitri lead him into the holding cell. The blonde didn’t say anything as he locked up the holding cell. Dimitri knew that he hadn’t said anything but what was he supposed to do, admit to the fact that he was talking to himself? No, that would get him into a psychological evaluation and that was the last thing he needed. He had finally freed himself from the mandatory therapist after the stabbing that resulted in his loss of vision.

Everyone around him recognized the change in his mood. There was always a low level of hostility, one that everyone had learned to accept, but this one was dangerous. This was the one that caused him to get into fights outside of work and that caused him to say things he would instantly regret. Dimitri was treading a very dangerous line.

Instead of engaging with the rest of his co-workers, he stepped outside and lit a cigarette. It was a habit he had picked up after Byleth had left and before he had started working with Dedue. The nicotine helped his emotions to some degree. It made his work environment tolerable for the time being.

_Run away, little boy. That’s what you always do. Coward._

Dimitri took another drag of his cigarette, so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t hear the door to the balcony open and close.

“Can I bum one?”

_She doesn’t give a fuck about you. Remember that. How could she still love you?_

Dimitri turned to Byleth, a small look of surprise on his face. Looks like they had both picked up the habit after their separation.

“Since when do you smoke?” He asked harshly, like he was judging her. He handed her the pack and a lighter.

Byleth took the pack of cigarettes, picked one and lit it up before returning the pack to Dimitri, the cigarette dangling from her lips.

“Since when do you?”

All she wanted to do was ask if Dimitri was okay. It didn’t take much for her to recognize that he was hurting. The few years they had spent together had taught her a lot about him and his body language. Although she wished to forget it, it was still ingrained into her brain and she knew that he was in agony. She wanted to reach her hand out, pull him to her and hold him in an embrace, telling him that everything would be okay, just like he had with her all those nights ago. It made her sick to her stomach thinking about the past. If only things were that simple.

“Fair point.”

They stood in familiar silence, Dimitri looking off into the distance of the city as Byleth tried to advert her gaze from him.

“Cap wants to see us. He said it’s important,” Byleth finally spoke as she finished her cigarette, Dimitri following suit. 

The pair didn’t speak as they walked back inside, making their way to the captain’s office. It was obvious that something was terribly wrong. The whole vibe of the precinct had changed. Whatever it was, they would be finding out shortly.

“Mercie? What are you doing here?” Dimitri’s blood ran cold as he shut the door behind him, already having a thousand questions run through his mind. How did Byleth know Mercedes? And if Mercedes was here, that could only mean one thing. And if that was the case, why were they being called into Seteth’s office? It was a conflict of interest, as Seteth had reminded him countless of times.

Mercedes shifted on the couch, looking uncomfortable and close to tears, as she looked back up at Seteth. Byleth took a seat next to her, taking one of her hands into hers to try and calm her down.

“They found the gun this morning. Evidence techs confirmed the match about half an hour ago.” Seteth was pacing back and forth in his office, a habit that was reflect of how nervous he was. “Ballistics are a 100% match.”

Mercedes was sobbing into Byleth’s shoulder. This was the news that Dimitri had been waiting for almost two years.

“What’s the catch? You wouldn’t be calling us all in here if there wasn’t a catch.” His voice sounded hopeless, broken, even.

Byleth looked up at Dimitri, a confused look on her face. She hadn’t heard him speak like that in over five years. The wheels were turning in her head as she processed the scene in front of her. Mercedes wouldn’t be crying like this if there wasn’t any hope. Seteth wouldn’t have called her in with Dimitri if Mercedes hadn’t been here, despite knowing exactly what had happened. And Dimitri? Dimitri wouldn’t be gripping the door handle with such force (and highlighting her concerns over his brute strength) if there wasn’t any hope.

“You found him, didn’t you? Expect he’s dead. And the gun that killed him was the same gun that killed Dedue and that officer a few years ago.” _My father, _Byleth wanted to add. That was only a suspected correlation, there was no conformation on it, however. Regardless, they were back to square one on the investigation.

“Correct. And although I don’t agree with this, Chief Rhea wants the two of you on as leads on the investigation. Ms. von Martrtiz is here due to safety concerns that whoever killed her fiancé and his killer will go after her next. You are not going to be working any other cases, per Chief’s orders. You have the department’s full resources at your fingertips. Use them wisely.” Seteth paused as he sat back down in his chair and handled Byleth the case file.

“Be careful. I’m not losing another officer under my watch.”

Something cracked behind Byleth. She didn’t have to look up to know that Dimitri had punched a hole in the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> claude calls byleth teach because one time they had a department training together a few years ago and she taught him how to dismantle and reassemble his gun in under a minute. he's been her number one fan ever since.


	3. bad company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dimitri is an asshole and when consumed with rage, you do bad shit. so trigger warning for domestic violence. it's not super explicit, i don't think, but it's not a light topic. and honestly the way byleth responds is pretty problematic but i think we all knew that given the blue lions route and the dynamic between the two of them in the war and their respective complex ptsd.
> 
> i was trying to write more detective-ness and crime solving but that just wasn't happening. so instead you get some backstory and a conversation that dimitri and byleth should have had a few weeks ago (expect not really because they share like one sentence about it and talk about other things. dumbasses.) tbqh i'm probably never going to go in 100% detail of what happened in their past so i'm planning on writing in and making it a collection. aka it's really just an excuse for me to write more cop au's (like that ever stops me).
> 
> byleth is a cat lady don't @ me

“Hey bud, it’s been awhile. So much has happened since I’ve been here last. Sorry about that, it’s been a crazy few weeks.”

Dimitri shifted on his feet, trying to find a comfortable standing position. After a moment, he decided to sit on the grass. It wasn’t damp or covered in snow and given everything that he felt like he was going to spill, it would be better if he was sitting. That way if he got lightheaded he would already be halfway to the ground, he reckoned. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed as he looked at the gravestone.

“Byleth came back into my life. But I think you already knew that? Apparently she and Mercedes are friends, which you already knew. So this whole time you knew her, huh? Sly bastard. I should have known.” Dimitri didn’t know if that was true; he just assumed given the nature of her relationship with Mercedes. Even if Dedue hadn’t known her in person, he had known of her from Dimitri and Mercedes.

That must have painted a pretty picture for him.

Dimitri lazily ran his hand through the grass. At least at the graveyard he didn’t look like a crazy person, talking to a grave site. It made him feel a little bit better, like he could unknown without someone judging him. It was just like Dedue was with him in person. If he couldn’t have his physical presence, this would have to do. It still was like a knife in his heart every time he looked at his headstone.

“_Fuck, _I missed her. I guess I never got over her. I thought I had. She walked back into the precinct and was introduced as my new partner and it was like my whole world had been ripped out from underneath me. I couldn’t breathe. Every single happy memory I have with her has been cropping up these past few weeks.” He placed his head in his hands. “I can’t get rid of it, no matter how much I want to. I hate it. You saw what happened to me after she had been gone for a few months and the most pathetic thing is I still want her back in my life.”

Dimitri was choking out sobs now. Even though coming to Dedue’s gravesite had been a habit for the past two years, he found himself crying every time. Someone had once told him that it would get easier with time and he found himself wanting to punch that person in the face. It barely got any easier. If anything, it made it harder. All Dimitri wanted to do was reach for his best friend and seek his advice. No matter what, Dedue always had an answer.

“And it’s been good! She’s just as beautiful as I remember. A lot rougher around the edges and doesn’t put up with my bullshit, but I guess she never did.” He sniffled and wiped the tears away from the corner of his eyes. “I wish you were here. You would know just what to say. You and Mercie say the same things but I don’t know, it’s different coming from you.”

The blonde paused as he mustered up a small, sad smile. “I miss you a lot. There’s a lot more to say but I think you already know most of it if you’re watching me from above, which I think you are. Still hopelessly in love with Byleth and hate her for it, still angry with everyone, still hate everything. Maybe not a lot has changed, I guess.”

Dimitri shifted his position on the grass, trying to get comfortable again. It wasn’t happening.

“But we got a match. Or sort of a match, I think. We found the gun that was used in your murder, as well as others, but the problem is the fucker is dead and we’re back to square fucking one. I’m so sorry.” His voice broke with the apology, the tears coming back.

He felt like a failure. In his spare time for the past two years, he had broken every protocol by making copies of the Dedue’s casefile and bringing it home with him. Every night, he studied the evidence and tried to connect the dots, find something that the detectives were overlooking. Nothing had changed. On the off chance that Dimitri thought he had found something, upon further investigation, he discovered that that avenue had been investigated and it was a dead end.

Dimitri sat in silence for the better part of half an hour. His shift was going to start soon and he knew that he needed to get going but he couldn’t tear himself away from his current spot. It was one off the downfalls of the graveyard of being walking distance from the precinct. He stood up and stared at the headstone, unsure of what to say or do.

“Dimka.”

His reaction was swift, almost involuntary. Dimitri’s head had clouded at the sound of his old nickname, sending him into a rage. He withdrew his gun from his holster and had it pointed at the head of the person who had called out the forbidden word. His vision was blurring and the world around him was turning black.

“_Don’t fucking call me that._”

“Pull your fucking gun on me again and I’ll report you for domestic violence, police brutality and whatever the fuck the DA will let me charge you with me.” Byleth’s tone was pure ice.

He blinked, snapping out of the rage that had consumed him. Even though his subconscious knew that it was Byleth (because who else called him by that nickname?), the reaction had been so instant he had lost sight of who it was. It was alarming, yes, but the descent into madness was happening with such regularity at this point that Dimitri wasn’t sure that he cared.

Or he thought he hadn’t until he saw the look of fear in Byleth’s eyes, knowing that she was truly concerned he would pull the trigger on it.

The pit in his stomach grew as he withdrew his gun and placed it in his holster. “Sorry. Wasn’t expecting company.” _I wasn’t expecting you to call me that_ was the unspoken sentence. Despite the shortness of tone, his words were genuine. He was sorry that he had pulled the gun on Byleth and had regretted it the moment he realized what had happened. The last thing he wanted to do was cause her any physical pain.

Byleth didn’t say anything (_rightfully so, _Dimitri though to himself) as she handed him his coffee. “Felix told me you’d probably be here. I know it’s early but I thought we could talk about our game plan for today before actually going out in the field. And by talk I mean talk away from the precinct.”

_Talk about us._

Dimitri took the coffee, adverting her gaze. The guilt was starting to wash over him as the realization of what had just happened hit him.

“Yeah, okay.”

* * *

The car ride was extremely uncomfortable.

Byleth was driving, leading them to a location that Dimitri didn’t dare to ask where. She had been warned of Dimitri’s instability since she had walked into the precinct. Hell, it was something she had been briefly heard about from Mercedes in the brief times they had talked about Dimitri since Dedue’s death. Despite all the words and the actions she had seen in the past few weeks, part of her believed that he would never hurt her. Byleth believed that he was angry, rightfully so, but not angry enough to do something. That belief had been shattered when he had drawn the gun to her head. It took a lot to make her falter anymore. It turned out that having a gun to her head by the person she loved the most was a breaking point.

“Come on,” Byleth said as she parked the car. They were at an apartment complex, one that Dimitri didn’t recognize it. It wasn’t his own or anyone he knew and given the fact that they were in a parking spot, he could only assume that it was her own apartment.

“Are you sure you want me in your apartment?” He finally asked, his voice soft as followed her. She didn’t respond as she unlocked the door and lead him into her apartment.

It was still bare, like it was unlived in. There was a coffee table, a mounted TV, a couch and a small excuse of a dining room table and two chairs. The rest of it was cluttered by moving boxes that looked like they had been barely touched except for the necessities.

“Give me your gun.” It wasn’t a request.

Dimitri did as he was requested and pulled it form his holster, handing it to her. She said nothing as she turned around headed towards the bedroom. After a few moments, she returned without both of their guns.

“It’s in my safe. As evident by our last conversation, I think it’s best neither of us have a weapon.” Byleth pulled her hair up into a ponytail as she motioned for him to sit down. He did as he complied. At this point, he was putty in her hands.

She followed suit, sitting close him to him that he could smell her perfume but keeping enough distance that they weren’t touching. The pair sat in silence before it was broken by the sound of a meow. Dimtiri raised his eyebrows as he looked at Byleth with a questioning eye.

“Since when are you a cat person?”

“Since I’ve lived the past five years alone.” _Without you sharing an apartment with me, _she wanted to add. “That’s not important right now and you know that.” Byleth shifted in her seat, sighing before she spoke.

“Look. I didn’t think this was a conversation we needed to have. I’ve spent the last few weeks expecting that this coldness and indifference you had was going to be a new normal. I didn’t like it but I knew that it was my fault and I was going to take responsibility for that. So I’ve been trying to be okay with it and it’s been hard.” There was so much more that she wanted to tell him, like how she wanted to reach out to him, grab his hand, stroke his thumb with her fingers, and tell him that everything was going to be okay.

“But it’s not. We’re not okay. You put a fucking gun to my head and that’s not okay. I – what happened to you?”

Dimitri glared at her. “You don’t get to ask that. You damn well know what happened to me. I don’t expect you to care considering how you fucked off after one night and disappeared for five years without a single explanation. It’s funny that I expected you to stay after I told you how much I loved you and you fucked right off the next night. _The next night_, Byleth.”

“That doesn’t fucking justify a gun to my head, Dimitri! I broke your heart, cool, I fucking get it. But before you start with that shit, maybe you should consider that I had to break my own heart in the process. You didn’t tell me you loved me and I told you to fuck off. I told you I loved you back. Remember that.” Her tone matched his; icy and unnerving.

Byleth stood up and took a step back, unable to handle their close proximity. Maybe bringing him to her apartment to have this conversation before work had been a bad idea.

“That’s still not my point, Dimtiri. You know it’s not and you’re evading.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to stop the stress induced headache that was about to come from this conversation. “Look. You and I have to work together on this. You and I both want to figure out what happened to Dedue, to the officer five years ago, to my father, to all of it. It’s the fucking chief’s orders. And whatever trust I had was just broken by your extreme reaction to a stupid nickname. I could report you.”

“You won’t.”

“Don’t fucking challenge me.”

He was right. Byleth wouldn’t report it in a million years which was the most dangerous part about their current situation. How could she hold him accountable for what had just happened and still work on earning his trust? She sat back down, taking his hands into hers.

They were more calloused than a five years ago but still warm. Dimitri wouldn’t admit to it but he found her touch to be calming.

“Tell me what happened. Please. If you’re going to react like that, I need to know.”

_Don’t tell her anything. She’ll never love you. You should just put yourself out of this misery now. Her using your nickname was fake. She doesn’t’ care. She never cared. Stop kidding yourself. _

The voices were getting louder. Dimitri winced, fighting the urge to yell at him.

“It was a mistake. An honest to God mistake.” That was the truth. He had heard his old nickname and snapped. “I haven’t heard that name in years. We were in a fucking graveyard. I snapped. You were the unintended target. I’m sorry.”

Byleth believed him. She knew that he was sorry but it didn’t change the fact that the ounce of trust she had in him was gone.

“Then I won’t call you that ever again. Partner work for you?” Dimitri nodded. “Good. I know we have a lot of history but we have to work on this first. The case is too important to both of us. And I need you to stop being such a fucking dick to me if you want to make this work.” _If you don’t want me to leave again_ was another unspoken sentence. “Our job is the most important thing. It always has been.”

Byleth removed her hands from his and stood back up, looking down at Dimitri. He was trying his hardest to keep it together and pretend that everything was fine. She knew that in a few minutes he would go back to his indifferent tone and dismissing everyone around him. Felix would insult him and he would snap right back at him, lulling the two of them into the new normal they were adjusting to. Despite knowing what was coming next, she knew that the talk they had had gotten through to him to some extent. It was better than something.

“Our job comes first, Dimitri. That was always our number one rule. Don’t you remember?”

Dimitri stood up, not meeting her gaze. He remembered that clearly. It was one of the first rules they had made once started sleeping together. Their friendship could have survived everything the job threw at them. It was only when sex and buried emotions got involved they knew that they had to make sure that, no matter what happened to them, the job came first.

“We’re going to be late. Get my gun and let’s go to work.” There was no question, no request. It was a demand and nothing more. The softness of the apology had slipped away from his personality again. They were reverting to the Dimitri of the past few weeks.

Byleth complied with his request and disappeared for a few moments. A cat snaked around Dimitri’s legs, startling him. He had heard the meow before but hadn’t expected to see the animal. It was small, black and was staring at him with such judgement it made him uncomfortable.

“Job comes first, Dimitri,” Byleth said as she handed him his weapon. He took it from her and placed it back in his holster. The blonde didn’t realize how naked he felt without his weapon. “It’s always going to come first. If you’ve spent the past few years pushing your emotions down and become this dark and brooding asshole, you can do it for me, too.”

Dimitri didn’t say anything as he opened the door, mindful of the black cat.

“We have people to interview. Let’s go.”

Byleth readjusted her gun in her holster and clipped her badge on her belt. Stepping out into the world with Dimitri gave her a sense of extreme uneasiness, something she wasn’t sure if it was because of their complex history or the case. She would find out one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a summary of their break up:  
dimitri: byleth my beloved i love you so much!!  
byleth: i love you too!!! so much  
byleth: *disappears the next day*  
dimitri: k *emo phase activated*


	4. just like fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen i haven't slept and i am exhausted so naturally i write another chapter. it helped calm my mind down in order to process going to my job tomorrow. did i write this while watching monsters university and then zootopia? you bet your ass i did. anyways ingrid is a bro, change my mind. i feel like in this setting she would pride herself on being rather appropriate and good but then sylvain says some shit and she knows she can get him to stfu by one upping him so she does. claude and syvlain are my brotp. 
> 
> trigger warning for mentions of suicide/general descriptions of a dead body and blood (tbh that's going to be a common theme, it is a cop story). we're starting to get to the whole "personal life" and "work life" aspect of every chapter, which some more heavy than the others.

The last week had been dead end after dead end. No matter what piece of evidence that had been discovered or told to them, it was always a dead end. How many suspects had they interviewed in just the past two days? Byleth stopped keeping track. She was getting tired of the “I don’t knows” and the “it wasn’t me, I swear!” And to make matters worse, she wasn’t sleeping well.

Byleth knew that the incident that had happened with Dimitri had shaken her to her core. Although there had been some improvement (something that was invisible to the rest of the team but obvious to her), they were back to the cold indifference she was getting used to. Still, her old friends had noticed that there was a slight change between the two (they were detectives, after all) and had invited her out for a couple of drinks after work.

“So there’s no leads on anything?” Ingrid asked as she brought Byleth her second drink of the night.

“Not a damn thing,” Byleth replied as she took the whiskey into her hands, sighing. “We’ve torn apart every piece of evidence, the autopsy report, the ballistics of the gun and we’ve gotten nothing. Every lead we have results in a dead end. The only promising thing we’ve had is a guy who seemed shady, had the prior to prove it, but had a solid alibi.”

Sylvain let out a low whistle as he took a sip of his beer. “That blows. And you guys really aren’t getting any more cases until this is solved? Cause I got this really great assault and battery I could gladly switch someone for.”

“I’m insulted, Sylvain. We have a lead on that; you’ve just been slacking on getting the warrant. I could have had it yesterday if you hadn’t decided to get a bug up your ass about having another piece of evidence.” Ingrid said as she took a large gulp of her beer before deciding it was best to nurse it. Given the start of the conversation and the reason why they were all out, the night was going to get rowdy. It would be better if one of them stayed sober. “Besides, you know Dimitri will have to be dead before he hands over this case to anyone else.”

A snort escaped Felix’s lips. “Might do the boar some good to get knocked on his ass. I, for one, wouldn’t mind having him kicked off the force. Serves him right.” Byleth scowled at him but Felix paid her no attention as he continued. “I don’t know why you continue to put up with his bullshit. I would have killed him a long time ago.”

“Ah, that’s because she and Dimitri were fucking back in the academy! Don’t you remember? The night he came to us and was so fucking drunk he had to crash on our couch but he wound up confessing his love for our dear friend? And then three weeks later she did the same thing? _Totally fucking_,” Sylvain interjected, a loud laugh escaping his lips.

Byleth felt her cheeks flush. She quickly downed the rest of her whiskey and motioned for another one.

“You know Teach, when you told me you would tell me what happened over a drink, this isn’t what I imagined! Shit.” Claude was laughing at his friends embarrassment, proudly joining in Sylvain’s antics. “It’s okay, I know he wasn’t any better than me in bed.”

Byleth was extremely flustered by the conversation. Where was her drink when she needed it? And when the bartender came back, she would have to remember to order a shot.

“One, we fucked one time, Claude. I would just like to clear that up for everyone here who is wondering, namely the fucking redhead in front of me who is so offended I decided to bed someone that isn't him. Two, we were so trashed that I can barely remember it. And you only remember it because I mentioned it to you the next morning. I believe your exact words were ‘Fuck, I blacked out.’ Three, Dimitri and I were not fucking back in the academy.” The whiskey appeared in front of her and she sighed in relief. “Can’t we go back to talking about the case?”

Sylvain and Claude laughed. There was no way she was going to get off the hook. Byleth shot Ingrid a pleading look but she seemed to be conveniently preoccupied by something on the television. The same thing was true for Felix. God, she hated them both.

“Okay, so you guys weren’t fucking. But you were in love, right? Please, at least give me that! Felix and Ingrid both owe me money if I get it right!”

“Christ, you _bet _on us?” Byleth pinched the bridge of her nose as a shot appeared in front of her. She was going to get blacked out drunk tonight and the hangover would be better than remembering this. With the four pairs of eyes on her, she sighed as she took her shot. “Fine. Yes, we were, I think. I was at least, but I wasn’t going to jeopardize anything. We didn’t do anything until a little over five years ago. After that officer died …” Byleth trailed off, lost in her memory. It took a moment before she regained her thought process. “Things got fuzzy after that. Our boundaries blurred. We started hooking up. And then after… after my dad died-”

She gripped the empty glass, almost wishing she could break it. There was a reason she didn’t talk about her life because it brought up an unnecessary amount of emotions. Byleth preferred to keep her emotions locked away with six deadbolts and a retinal scan to get in. Yet she was sitting with the four people she felt the most safe around, minus one. If she couldn’t trust Felix, Sylvain, Ingrid and Claude, then who could she trust with her emotions? No matter what, she was sure that they had her back, even if it meant admitting to things she had long since buried.

“After that we owned up to our feelings. And then I transferred the next day.” The effects of the alcohol were staring to wear on her, which meant she had already drunk her fair share. She motioned for another drink, indicating for a double this time, in effort to hide the fact that she was drinking more than she should be, even though it was supposed to be her weekend off.

There was silence and Ingrid was the one to speak first. “Why did you transfer?” There was no accusation in her voice, just general curiosity.

“I didn’t have a choice.” Her tone was final and dismissive. The transfer was something she couldn’t talk about. “And I can’t talk about it, so please don’t ask.” Hell, at this point, she would rather have them tease her about her love for Dimitri.

Claude was the next to speak. “So what you’re saying is that I am still way better in bed and that you’re hopelessly in love with me, got it, Teach. Thanks for what I already knew.” He winked at her, trying to break the frigid atmosphere.

Underneath the table, Claude reached for the table and gave it a gentle squeeze, a sign of comfort that says “I got you, it’s okay.” For a short time after meeting Byleth, he had thought they had a potential to be something more than friends. It became obvious the closer they got that she was haunted by her own demons and an unhealthy love for someone in her past. Sure, he had hoped that maybe with his presence it would slide away but it never did. It had stung for the better part of a week after realizing the truth. Looking back on it, Claude wouldn’t change it for the world.

He cherished Byleth and their friendship. All he wanted was to see her happy and he knew she wanted the same thing for him. He felt her body relax after the squeeze.

“That’s because she hasn’t had me, Claude. And we all know I am, by far, the one with a superior dick at this table.”

“Can you two please stop talking about your dick sizes?” Ingrid groaned. Even Felix’s face shared similar distaste for the conversation. “Besides, I’m pretty sure Ashe has a bigger dick than both of you. He’s small and unimposing. I bet I can get Annette to tell us.”

“You all disgust me.” Yet Felix was still sitting there, making no move to leave.

“Aw, babe, you wound me so,” Sylvain poked fun at Felix, earning another glare. If Sylvain had any sense of mind, he would have turned the other way but Felix didn’t scare him. Felix hadn’t scared him since they were kids. “Think we could get her to show us a picture? I bet that would make her blush.” He was laughing, knowing the possibility of that happening was slim to none. Besides, it was a better conversation than the one they had just had.

Part of him had been joking when he brought up Dimitri and Byleth’s past. It had been obvious to the three of them at the academy that the two of them had fallen for each other but danced around the issue. Even today, apparently five years since the two of them had last seen each other (and eight years since he had seen Byleth), it was clear they cared for each other. Yet they were broken, distrusting, and if they weren’t careful, it would end badly.

Sylvain could only hope that wouldn’t be the case. It was why he was content with breaking the ice with uncomfortable sexual innuendos and encouraging everyone to drink more than they should.

“Barkeep! Another around!”

* * *

“You good?”

“Mhmm, I’m doin’ great!” Byleth was not doing great. She was slurring her words and unable to keep her coordination. Felix sighed as he opened her bedroom door and guided her to sit on the bed. She was struggling to take her shoes off. At one point, he would have helped her. Instead, he turned around and went to the kitchen to grab her a glass of water for the night.

Upon returning, he discovered that she had managed to take her shoes off, in addition to one of her socks. Felix had expected her to be fast asleep but she was focusing on her phone, clearly typing out a text.

_U up??????? _

“Gonna do something stupid?”

Her phone buzzed next to her.

“Nooo! ‘anks, Felix. You can go now. Go get some good sex for me, kay? Kinda wanna know if Sylvain lives up to the hype he keeps talkin’ about.”

Felix blushed. “Don’t know what you’re talking about. Goodnight, Byleth.”

“’ight, Felix!”

The world was spinning. Byleth heard the door shut and she scrambled, a bit slowly, to take off her clothes. It was too hot and stuffy in her bedroom. God, when it had gotten so hot? Was it because she was thinking about Dimitri? The thought of the blonde stopped her dead in her tracks as she reached for her phone.

_Are you drunk?_

She giggled as she started to type out a response. The longer she stared at the phone, the more she realized typing was hard. Logically, a call was the solution. Going against the small part of her subconscious that was screaming at her to stop, to abort mission, she hit call.

_“Do you know what time it is?”_ Dimitri barked.

“Uhhhh, late. I think. I lost track of time after the third shot. Is it late?”

_“It’s almost three a.m., By. What do you want?”_

“I dunno. I wanted to talk. We were all talking about you tonight and it hurt. So I got really drunk. And now I’m calling you!” The idea was starting to sound stupid. Maybe her subconscious was starting to get louder. If she remembered this in the morning, Byleth knew she would regret it.

_“I’m going to hang up on you now."_

“Please don’t. Don’t do that.” Her voice was soft, still slurred, but it was sad. The thought of Dimtiri hanging up on her was starting to bring tears to her eyes. “Can you just stay on the phone with me until I fall asleep? Please? I really miss you.”

There was silence.

_“Okay. Do you have water next to your bed?”_

A huge smile broke out over her face. “Ya, but the world is really dizzy. I’m going to lie down and close my eyes, okay? Don’t hang up until I fall asleep. I still snore or so I have been told.” Byleth leaned back in the bed, the world still spinning. She placed her phone next to her ear, closing her eyes. The world was still violently spinning but it seemed more tolerable.

_“I’m not going anywhere.”_

* * *

Dimitri was pacing outside her apartment door.

It was 9:30 in the morning, and if his remember was right, she would have gotten at six hours of sleep. Shortly after telling him she was closing her eyes, she had lulled off into an alcohol induced sleep. Dimitri knew he should have hung up the moment her heard her first snores. Instead, he had been selfish and had fallen back asleep to the sound of her snores over the phone, almost like she was sleeping next to him again.

_Weak. Why would you waste your time on a girl like her? You know she doesn’t love you. You have other things to be focusing on. We are more important to you than that girl, remember that. She is nothing to you._

Seteth had said he had already talked to Byleth. Dimitri was the one who was supposed to pick her up and take her to the crime scene. So why was it so hard for him to knock on the door? Why hadn’t he just sent her a text that said he was outside, like he had done in the past?

_Because you’re a stupid boy. Cut her off now. Cut her off just like she did to you. You only need us. _

Dimitri raised his knuckle to knock on the door but was cut short by Byleth opening it. She looked reasonably well, given how intoxicated she had been last night. Her hair was up in a ponytail, still frizzy from the night before, there were light bags under her eyes (clearly covered up by concealer) and she was wincing from the light.

“I have painkillers in my car if you need something for the hangover.” He handed her her coffee. “Ready to go if you are? Scene’s only about fifteen minutes away from here. I can drive.”

Byleth looked up at him as she took the coffee from him. “You’re being too nice. What’s wrong?” Her voice sounded hoarse. She lead the way out of her apartment complex, Dimitri following behind her. “Is the scene bad? Is it someone we know?” Despite the terrible hangover, she was all business.

“Uh, no. I mean, yes it’s bad, no it’s not someone we know. There’s something there that CSU wants us to see immediately. It’s got them pretty rattled and they won’t process the body until we get there.” Dimitri shut the car door, started up the car, and drove.

During the fifteen minute ride, Byleth didn’t ask anymore questions. She remembered most of her night but it was still a little fuzzy. She knew about the conversation on the phone, as evident by her phone log (expect the conversation had lasted two hours and she knew she had fallen asleep shortly before three, with the phone call ending around 5 a.m.). She knew that she had cried when she thought he was going to hang up on her. And above all else, she knew that drinking with her four friends was a very dangerous territory she was never going to do again. (That was a lie).

Dimitri was glad that Byleth didn’t ask anymore questions. He didn’t want to admit anything to her. The voices in his head were getting louder, screaming at him, and all he wanted to do was curl up in a hole and die. Death would be welcome at this point, as long as it would silence the voices that were desperately seeking revenge.

The pair didn’t have to ask any questions as they stepped across the crime scene tape. Whatever thoughts they had been dwelling in were pushed to the side, laser focused on the scene in front of them.

It was Kostas, a potential suspect they had interviewed at the beginning of the week, the one who had the rap sheet and the solid alibi. He was dead, having jumped off the roof that was twenty floors up. The blood had finally stopped spilling about two inches away from Byleth’s shoes. A suicide within less than a week after interviewing him? It was unlikely, especially considering how Kostas was a textbook narcissistic and would have been thriving in not getting caught by the cops.

“He wouldn’t have been consumed by guilt,” Dimitri said as he handed Byleth her pair of gloves. “Any evidence that he was pushed?” He crouched down next to the deceased suspect, careful to avoid the blood.

Ashe shook his head. Byleth felt careless for missing him. He would have been the first on the scene, given that this was the neighborhood he patrolled. “Other then the fact that it’s extremely suspicious? No, but CSU is up on the roof looking for fibers, hairs, fingerprints, anything to prove otherwise. That’s not why I made sure you guys got here ASAP.” 

The grey-haired man pointed towards his mouth. “He’s got something in his mouth. CSU is thinking crumbled up paper. I think given the fact that you just interviewed this bastard and he’s now dead and there’s paper in his mouth, it’s probably best if you two looked at it first.”

Dimitri opened the suspects mouth with his gloved hand and opened the note, his eye going wide.

“Those _fuckers_.” His voice was hallow and dangerous.

Byleth reached for the note and felt her blood run cold as she looked at what it said. It was two photos, one of Dimitri and one of her, taken from various newspaper clippings about five years ago. The one of Byleth was from after the first police officer was killed and the one of Dimitri was the one of his official police portrait, only released to the newspaper after he had gotten an accommodation for saving a young girl in a burning building.

The message was clear, written in red ink. Byleth suspected it was probably Kostas’s blood but they would have to have the lab test it.

_You’re getting warmer, Detectives. Time’s up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (pls play the law and order DUN DUN in your head after reading the last sentence for dramatic affect)
> 
> an actual convo between the drunk friends, circa this chapter  
byleth: since we were talking about my sex life, u and felix fuckin yet???? "roommates" my ass  
claude: five bucks says they are  
felix: gross no why would i be with him??? i could do so much better  
sylvain: ayyyyyyyyyyyy wait wat, i'm offended. why hide our love???? we did just move into a one bedroom  
ingrid: so the dick pic you set me on accident a few days ago who was that for  
sylvain: obviously felix  
felix: I SAID SHUT UP  
claude, byleth: /sooooooo you are fucking/  
ingrid: wait one bedroom!?! am i the only one processing this?! when did you even MOVE i was just at your apartment two weeks ago!!  
felix: i fuckin hate you all
> 
> thank you guys so much for your kudos, bookmarks, and comments! it really makes me smile and inspires me to write more <33


	5. all or nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me @ me: ash! you can do this! sit down and write detective things! you have the whole plot and everything figured out! you got this!  
also me: super angst, domestic violence, slow burns and teasing with light cop elements? pls?  
me @ me: why do you do this to yourself
> 
> i just wanna write soft dimileth but apparently i have to get through this actual plot of "hey someone's murdering cops and we have a whole bunch of shit to figure out regarding that case" and a bunch of "hey remember how you fucked their past up??? yeah you can't just ignore that" so for now they just wanna hate fuck :) :)
> 
> in case anyone is wondering, the jobs are as follows (of the people who have been mentioned by name or have been in my mind but not really)  
detective gang: dimitri, byleth, felix, ingrid, sylvain, ignatz and rip dedue. dimitri is partnered with blyeth, ingrid is with sylvain, felix is with (shrug emoji).  
d.a's office/admin filing/basically gina from brooklyn 99: annette  
patrol: ashe (patrol sarge)  
captain: edelgard and seteth  
chief of police: rhea  
byleth's cat: anna  
nursing/emergency medicine: mercedes, marianne, flayn  
fhirdiad marshals service/f.b.i: claude, shamir

“Has anyone from your past life tried to contact you?”

“No.”

The questions never changed. Claude had been a handler for the better part of a year and every time they met, the questions were always the same. _Has anyone from your past life tried to contact you? Have you tried to contact anyone from your past life? Has anyone caused you any alarm for any reason? Tell me your name,_ _where you’re from and what you’re doing. What prompted you to move? Do you have any siblings? What’s your favourite movie? _

Claude knew the answers by heart. It was a tedious task that was required every check in.

Sipping his coffee, Claude leaned back in his chair as he looked at the man in front of him. “Look, you and I know it’s protocol bullshit. I know your answers haven’t changed and that you can recite them from memory with such conviction you would put even Brad Pitt to shame.” The nature of their meeting was not normal, that much they both knew. “You know this isn’t a normal meeting James.”

The name James felt wrong. Was it because Claude knew the man’s identity? Probably. It had always made him uncomfortable since the witness protection file had come across his desk, containing everything he needed to know about his new friends identity, ranging from a fabricated birth certificate to a bullshit degree from Enbarr University.

“I understand,” the man, James, said as he held onto his coffee. He didn’t sip it. Even though it was from Claude and it was to be trusted, the nature of witness protection and the circumstances that left him in this situation left him suspicious of anything that wasn’t from his own kitchen.

“Have you been keeping up on what’s going on around the city?”

James looked out at the window, taking in the scenery. It had been two years since he had been in Fhirdiad. It had begun to snow outside, something James had missed so much. It was a different climate than the one he had grown up in. The sight of the snow smiling brought a small smile to his face. The silence between them indicated yes, that much they both knew.

“Has my cover been blown?”

Claude grimaced. “Not quite. It’s complicated. If you’ve been paying attention then you know that there was a murder with the same M.O. as yours and a few others, so they’re back. That much is obvious and we knew was going to happen.” Claude scratched his head as he polished off his coffee. “Detective Einser and Detective Blaiddyd have been assigned to investigate it, as well as your cold case, and the few other cold cases.”

James titled his head as he looked at Claude, his brows furrowing as he tried to process the information. It pained his heart to think of his former friends, let alone think of what had happened to Dimitri without his presence. Dimitri had already been treading dangerous waters when they had meet. James knew it had gotten worse since his ‘death.’

“I can’t keep this under wraps for long. I’ve known Byleth for a while and I’m not going to be able to keep this from her for too long. And the reality is, I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep this from Dimitri, either.” Claude sighed as he pulled out thick file from his messenger bag and slide it over the table. “I’m suggesting we pull you out of witness protection. If we don’t, your cover is going to get blown. I can guarantee your safety with you out; I can’t guarantee yours, and everyone elses’s for that matter, with you in it.”

James picked up the file, already knowing that it contained the important documents of his past life. Although he wanted to open it, he knew it was wise not to do so in a semi-public place. They were already compromising enough by meeting in a coffee shop.

“When does the transition start?”

“You’ll be going back to your regular life slowly over the next week. We’re meeting with your fiancée first.” James’s hands gripped the file at the thought of his fiancée. Had she moved on? Would she want him back? Would she be angry with him? He didn’t know. “After that, it’s bells and whistles and jumping through more protocol bullshit. I don’t think I need to tell you that your meeting with Dimitri is going to be the hardest.”

“I understand.”

Claude didn’t believe him but had no choice. Instead, he formed a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Welcome back to Fhirdiad, James. Or should I say Dedue?”

James – Dedue – smiled.

* * *

“Will you stop fucking pacing back and forth? You’re too fucking loud,” Dimitri growled, not bothering to look up from the casefile that was strewn across his apartment floor.

“Oh, _sorry_ that it’s a fucking inconvenience to you,” Byleth snapped back. In the beginning, she would have regretted it. Instead, she was hungover, tired, and angry above all else. The note that the suspect had left in their victims mouth had left a bitter taste in her mouth.

It was a taunt. They were playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse and Byleth knew that they were the mouse.

Every lead they had had vanished into thin air, not that there had been much to begin with. It was why they were in Dimitri’s apartment (because it was closer to the crime scene and she wasn’t sure if she trusted the precinct, was the justification that she kept telling herself) with the case file scattered across the floor. All that was missing was red yarn in a pathetic attempt to connect the dots.

“Don’t take your anger out on me. I’m trying to fucking help here.”

They were on the edge of an explosive fight and Dimitri wasn’t sure that he cared. His patience was just as thin as Byleth’s after reading the note that had been stuffed into the victim’s mouth. 

It was the laugh that left Byleth’s mouth that sent a chill down Dimitri’s spine. He had only heard it once before, some five years ago, and he knew it was one of the fakest sounds she could make. Truthfully? It was downright terrifying. It meant that she was on the verge of breaking down.

Dimitri stood up. If they were going to get into a long overdue screaming match then he wanted to be on her same level. He knew her and knew that she would somehow use his position on the floor to the advantage.

“You don’t get to say shit about taking your anger out on me. In fact, you can kindly fuck _right _off with that. You’ve been nothing but a colossal cunt since I’ve arrived. At least I never pulled my gun on you, although the idea is _tempting_.” Despite her words, her voice never raised. It took a lot for her to raise her voice. Byleth was dangerously close to it. “Maybe I can put us both out of our misery then, huh?”

“You’re a coward. You wouldn’t do it. You didn’t report me earlier, what’s to say you’re going to do it now?”

“I told you, don’t fucking test me.”

“Then fucking do it! Stop pretending you’re going to do it and then do nothing about it!” His voice was raising but the coldness never changed. “At least I don’t hide behind some bullshit and try to save face when I could potentially look bad. Everyone knows I’m fucked up. But you? No, stop trying to pretend.”

“You don’t know me anymore, Dimitri. Stop acting like you do.”

Byleth had been making her way towards the kitchen as she spoke when Dimitri grabbed her wrist and spun her around, pushing her against the wall. The fire in her eyes was one he recognized well; he carried it in his. His hand was still around her wrist, tight enough it was likely to leave a bruise, but Byleth didn’t flinch. He had her pinned up against the wall. If they were going to fight, it was going to happen to face to face.

Whatever harsh words he had to say to her were gone as he continued to look into her eyes. Dimitri could feel himself going weak in the knees as he took in her scent, how close her body was to his, and everything about her.

_You’re weak. You’re weak and pathetic. Why don’t you stand up for yourself, you coward? _

Dimitri loosen his grip around her but didn’t move. Byleth pulled her wrist up towards her chest and nursed it, knowing it would be sore tomorrow. Her head was screaming at her and her flight response was telling her to move, to run away and never look back, but she couldn’t. Instead, all she could do was try and control her rapidly increasing heartbeat and her breathing.

The desire to kiss Byleth was overwhelming. It didn’t help that she had reached her unbruised hand out towards his face and brushed his loose strains of hair out of his eye.

“Sorry,” Dimitri finally said, trying to break out of the trance he found himself in. The previous anger he held disappeared as he continued to look at his former lover.

_You’re such a fucking coward. You keep asking yourself why she left you and the answer is right in front of you. She doesn’t want you. She never did. How could you think she would? You can’t even act on a simple desire! _

Byleth didn’t say anything in response. Truthfully, she didn’t know what to say. She was so mesmerized by how close he was to her, how their bodies were practically touching. It reminded her of their past and it reminded her of how much she missed it. They had been happy back then. But that was five years ago and a lot of things had changed. They had changed as people.

“Dimitri…” She began, only to have her sentence stopped short by his lips brushing up against hers. Byleth could feel her body melting beneath his but he never kissed her.

Instead, he kept his lips close enough to touch without kissing her. She smelled like cinnamon and he could only hope that she tasted like it. It wouldn’t matter to Dimitri; even if he couldn’t taste anything anymore, it would still be perfect because it was Byleth. That was the thought that scared him the most.

Just as quickly as the moment began, it ended. Dimitri pulled away from her, mumbled another apology, and stepped into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. He needed to get away from Byleth as fast as possible before he ripped her clothes off and fucked her against the wall.

_Can’t even act on a simple kiss. How are you supposed to avenge us? _

“Shut up,” he mumbled to himself as he filled his cup, doing his best to ignore the voices that were growing louder.

In the living room, Byleth was still standing against the wall, trying to wrap her head around everything that had happened. Was this real? Had they really been that close to kissing each other again? And above all else, had Dimitri apologized for his abhorrent behavior? _Not that mine was any better, _she thought to herself as she sat down on the floor.

She was lost in her own thoughts when something captured her attention. It was small, something they would have missed a thousand times, and were lucky to have even caught it. _Thank God for the brightness of the snow_, she thought to herself as she scrambled to the paperwork to look at it closer.

“Dimitri. Come here.”

Byleth handed the piece of paper to Dimitri from her seated position. She waited for him to see if he saw what she did. Part of her hoped that he would but she was also realistic in the sense that it had only been brought to her attention by the flicker of a light.

“What am I staring at? This is the same damn document we’ve looked at a thousand times.”

She shook her head. “Look at the margins. I only caught it through the flicker of a light but when you look at the autopsy report, it’s been edited. See?” Byleth stood up and pointed to the left side of the paper. “It’s a little to the left. The line is fuzzy in this one specific spot. When you compare it to the other autopsy report, it doesn’t line up. Here, look.”

Byleth placed the current autopsy report next to the older one on the coffee table. Dimitri followed her finger, trying his best to ignore the fact that it was Dedue’s autopsy report.

“They don’t match, Dimitri. Not with the official documents and the seal from the State.”

The blonde had dismissed her theory instantly, chalked it up to her hangover and seeing things and that it was a desperate attempt to change their conversation. Yet the longer he looked at the document, the more he saw it. It was small, subtle, and careless. She was right; the line moved a little to the left and was too fuzzy in one specific spot to be attributed to a toner issue in the paper.

“Someone in the M.E’s changed the official report. They’re hiding something.”

The realization of the enemy hiding in plain sight hit him hard. He slumped down into the couch, his eye wide as he tried to process this information. Someone was working _within _the police department. That much had been obvious to Dimitri, especially after Edelgard and the hell that followed that incident, but the actual conformation was sitting right in front of them.

His face paled as he looked up at Byleth and grabbed her hand, pulling her down into the couch with him.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Dimitri was ecstatic but he couldn’t jump the gun. One piece of evidence didn’t mean anything and he already knew what Annette would say if he brought it to her to pass onto the district attorney, assuming they had a decent suspect. His heart was racing in his chest as he tried to cam down his flurry of emotions.

“Dimitri?”

He didn’t say anything. Instead, he kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yayyyy! dedue's alive! :') of course he is though tbqh if you thought he was dead.... then i actually succeded but i doubt it. nah, he's just in witness protection and claude is his handler. lmao rip dedue, has to deal with claude.
> 
> anyways to make people laugh (mainly myself), i've decided to include comedy bits that would have happened around the time of the chapter/during the chapter but would never actually write. 
> 
> here's one:  
sylvain: so like. annette. i got questions.  
annette: uh ok  
sylvain: does ashe like, ya know, have a big dick?? and if so can i get the pics???  
ingrid: SYLVAIN OH MY GOD I CANNOT TAKE YOU ANYWHERE  
annette: *red af*  
ashe: *red af*  
sylvain: oh ashe m bad didn't see you there


	6. sweet nothings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if you thought they were gonna be happy from here on out you are dead wrong. they're gonna have their ~moments~ but dimitri's self-loathing bullshit and byleth's stubbornness is a problem. 
> 
> anyways writers block is a bitch and i finally beat it. i think. the next chapter will be a bit slow coming as i am going on a much needed vacation to arizona. do you know how excited i am to leave alaska for a week? so excited. 
> 
> dnw the blue lions will come full circle in the next chapter.

“I missed you.”

Dimitri was speaking softly against her lips, hesitant to break any contact. Now that he had her in his grasps, he refused to let her go. This was the moment he had been wishing for for five years. Now that he had it, it was better than he could ever imagine. She still smelled the same and god, her lips were just as soft as he remembered.

“I missed you too,” Byleth replied, her tone just as soft. She was basking in the same memory that Dimitri was. Still, something felt off to her. She knew that this wasn’t ideal, that this was the worst way a romantic reunion could go. She wanted the timing to be just right but then again, the timing had never been right between her and Dimitri.

He smiled against her lips. He was feeling the same hesitant that Byleth was and as much as he wanted to take her into his bedroom and fuck her senseless, he knew it was a bad idea. First off, they were partners. That created a mess in and of itself. They would have to disclose their relationship to the Captain and then they would be separated from each other and lucky to be in the same precinct anymore. Secondly, he wasn’t even sure if would prompt a real relationship. He didn’t know much about her anymore and it pained him.

“We should be focusing on the case,” Byleth said as she pulled back from Dimitri, instantly missing the warmth. She was still close, close enough to hear his labored breathing.

“And do what, sit around and wait for the lab to confirm what we already know? It’s the weekend, it’s going to take them all day to figure it out. And I don’t know if you noticed, but it’s the first snow of the winter and that means driving is going to be a bitch.”

_First snow of the winter. _

Byleth pushed away from Dimitri, reaching for her phone. She felt him grab her hand but she shrugged it off, typing a text furiously. Normally she would call Mercedes but if she called her, she would start asking questions when she heard the tone of her voice. Mercedes was good at picking up changes in her voice, even if it was over the phone.

“What ar-”

“Shut up and give me a minute.” Byleth didn’t take her eyes off the phone as she anxiously waited for a text back.

_I’m okay, don’t worry about me today. It’s easier than it has been in two years. Stay safe and stay off the roads; they’ve already called others in. :) _

Byleth let out a sigh of relief as she relaxed back into Dimtiri’s welcoming embrace. He was taller than she remembered him to be and he was certainly stronger, that much was evident by her sore wrist, but he still was a calming presence to her. In moments like this, despite their history and the fact that they were rubbing salt on their wounds, she knew in her heart that she was safe. Her mind was telling her a different story, the thoughts of the gun at her temple flashing through her mind.

“What was that all about?”

“Mercedes and I always do something the first snowfall of the year. She’s had a lot of trouble with it since Dedue passed, you know how much he loved the snow.” Dimitri paled at the mention of his friend. He was faced with the stark reminder that Byleth knew him, perhaps just as well, through Mercedes. “So we did something to get our minds off it, usually after work if we had to.” 

Byleth looked out towards the window. It was the middle of the day and the snow was coming down hard. It almost made her laugh considering how just a few hours ago, they had been standing outside and it didn’t look like it was going to snow at all. Her phone had been buzzing with alerts left and right; whatever this first snow was, it was supposed to be a hell of a storm. She could barely make out the apartment complex across the street due to low visibility.

He ran a hand through her hair absent-mindly, trying to ignore the voices that were demanding questions. _How could you have not known that they were friends? That just shows are careless you are. Pathetic. You didn’t even know his friends outside of you, how can you avenge him if you don’t know a damn thing about him? _

“How long have you known Mercedes?” It was a carefully framed question. What he was really asking was how long had she known Dedue and how long had Dedue kept it a secret from him?

“About four years.”

The response was like a knife twisting in his heart. For _four _years, Dedue had known about Byleth. Dedue had known about Byleth has he had finally come to terms with the fact that she had abandoned him. He had known her and talked to her the entire time he was swallowing in his own misery.

Dimitri pushed Byleth away from her and stood up, his hands shaking. He could feel the rage burning hot in the back of his throat and he was going to snap.

“Don’t you _dare _tarnish his memory like that.” Byleth didn’t move from her spot on the couch. She knew exactly what was going through Dimitri’s mind; she could tell by the way his hands were shaking, something she had only seen a handful of times before. “He didn’t tell you because he couldn’t. And when he could, I asked him not to. And you know what he did? He actually got mad at me for it.”

The thought of Dedue mad almost made him laugh. It happened on occasion, usually when someone had gravely injured his partner.

“So what you’re saying is I should be blaming you.” He wanted to punch something, anything, just for the sense of pain.

“Like that would stop you. You’ve been blaming me since I walked back into your life a few weeks ago.”

Dimitri glared at her and she glared right back. She should have known that her fleeting moment of happiness was to good to be true. He clenched his fists together, hard enough to draw blood. He didn’t care. It felt better than punching something, since he couldn’t afford to fix a hole in his wall and punching Byleth was out of the question. The fact that it had crossed his mind made him sick.

“Why did you leave me?” Dimitri eventually asked, cutting the tension in the room. It was the question he had been dying to ask her since day one.

Byleth pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling the stress headache that was about to come on. Even if she wanted to tell Dimitri (and part of her did), she couldn’t. It was part of the rules for internal affairs and she had to leave it at that.

“I can’t tell you.”

“_Bullshit!_”

“No, Dimitri, I really can’t. Please. I can’t talk about it. It’s still ongoing. And even if it wasn’t, I really don’t think I would want to tell you.” _I don’t want to tell you because it involves Edelgard, _she thought to herself. She knew that bringing up their former friend would only cause the fury in his eye to get worse. While she was sure that he wouldn’t punch her at this moment, she couldn’t guarantee that if she told him the truth.

This was all too much for Dimitri to handle. He could feel his head spinning as he slumped back down into the couch. Was it that simple? It made logical sense, especially if internal affairs was involved like she was suggesting, but it still didn’t excuse it. She could have told him. She could have said goodbye. She could have done _anything _other than leaving in the middle of the night and a note that said “sorry.”

Whatever self-control Dimitri had disappeared. His vision had blurred, the voices had grown louder, and the next thing he knew, his hand was through the drywall. For a few seconds after, he didn’t feel any pain. Instead, he just stood there before taking his hand out of the wall, his eye blinking rapidly as he tried to process what happened.

When he looked down at Byleth, he could see the shock and fear in her eyes. It was small and he had to give her credit for hiding her emotions well. Dimitri was sure that if he didn’t know her as well as he did, he would have missed it. All of his anger disappeared as he looked at her, not breaking her eye contact. It was unnerving.

“Here, let me clean it up.”

Byleth took his bleeding hand into hers, trying not to shiver at his touch. While she still had the lingering feeling of being afraid, something that had been on high alert for some time, she knew she could push it aside because Dimitri was hurt. She always pushed aside her feelings (and general sense of self) when Dimitri was hurt.

They didn’t speak as she tended to his wound. Wash, rinse, repeat. It was a task she had done countless of times before when they had been in the academy. It almost made her feel safe and secure. _Almost_.

“You really can’t tell me anything, can you?”

Dimitri winced as the rubbing alcohol hit his flesh. The question almost made him laugh, considering how he thought he had come to terms with Byleth’s disappearance a long time ago. If anything, her presence had taught him that he was the furthest thing from it. It was only after the desperate look in her eyes that he realized he had no choice; he had to heal from the past.

“I wouldn’t have left you like that if I had a choice, Dimka. You should know that by now.” Her voice was soft, focused on his hand.

_She lies. She’s always lied to you. You don’t need her, just us. We’re the only ones that matter. How come you don’t want to avenge us? _

The voices in his head were screaming. It would be better if he went to Seteth and asked for a change in partner. It would be better for him to walk away, where he could focus on the goal at hand: avenging Dedue, his family, _everyone _for the pain that they suffered. And once that was done? Then he could join them in peace. All he had to do was push Byleth away.

That was the logical solution. It would be better to keep her at a distance and he could go on his merry way. Yet he knew the woman better than that; she would be right by his side with an almost unwavering presence and support. It killed him to think that she would be by his side until she took her last breath.

His knuckles were wrapped but he didn’t want to let her go. Instead of pulling away, Dimitri gave her a soft smile as he leaned in closer to her.

“I know.”

Dimitri’s lips captured hers, pulling her into a tight embrace. It didn’t matter that the voices were pounding at his temples, that he knew what he had to do in order to achieve his goals. What mattered to him was the fact that Byleth was right here, next to him, her lips on hers.

She had always been the more aggressive one. Byleth was desperate and hungry for his touch. She pushed him back against the tub he had been sitting on so she could straddle him, keeping him close. It was a compromising position and even though she wanted nothing more than to have him fuck her senseless, it wasn’t the time for that.

This was what home felt like.

After a few moments, Byleth pulled away, her lips swollen and her hair disheveled.

“Do you still love me?”

It was a loaded question. Byleth wanted the answer to be yes but knew that it seemed unlikely. She knew that she still loved him, that hadn’t changed in five years, but if she had to walk away from whatever they were doing, she knew she would have to do it. There was only so much more her heart could take.

“I do.” Dimitri paused as he brushed a stray strained of hair out of her face. “But I don’t trust you.”

Byleth was about to respond when the sound of her phone going off in the other room. The older woman gave him a apologetic look as she got off him and disappeared into the other room.

Dimitri didn’t know how long she was gone. All he knew was that he could smell her shampoo (something minty, not that he could place it) and the scent of her skin. It was too much for him to handle at all once. He stood up and after another few moments, made his way to the living room.

Byleth was sitting on the floor, a shell shocked look on her face. The phone was on the ground and on a black screen, indicating to him that the call had ended.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Dimitri was speaking to her but his words were fuzzy. Truthfully, Byleth wasn’t even sure if the conversation she had just had with Mercedes was real. It probably was, given what she knew about the system, but it still didn’t help.

“He was in witness protection.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper. Dimitri cocked his head to the side as he looked at her, despite for an explanation. He hadn’t heard what she said. “Dedue . . . Mercedes just called me. She just got done talk- I- I, Dimitri, I’m not even sure how to begin.”

Byleth was scrambling to find the right words. Mercedes hadn’t mentioned anything about not telling Dimitri but she also knew that this wasn’t her story to tell.

“We need to go. Now. We need to go to Mercedes.”

“Why?” Dimitri didn’t like where this conversation was going. He could feel the anxiety building up in his stomach as he looked at his partner, who looked like she had seen a ghost. “Is she okay? Is she in any danger?”

“No.” The response was instant. _That’s good, _Dimitri thought to himself. “It’s not my story to tell. We need to go. Please.”

It was obvious to him that she was hiding something. She might have been good at fooling their friends but Dimitri knew better. He could see the bead of sweat beginning to form on her forehead, the way her eyes shifted back and forth, and the way that she was absent-mindly picking at her skin. He didn’t like the look on her face and he knew that it had something to do with Dedue; why else would Mercedes have called?

“I need you to trust me. Please.”

_I don’t trust you. _

“Go then. If you can’t tell me what it is, I don’t want part of it.” His tone was dismissive and harsh, a complete reflex. He regretted the words as soon as they came out. How was he supposed to start trusting her if he didn’t take any initiative? Trust was a two way street. Trusting her one time wouldn't hurt him, would it? He didn't know.

Byleth didn’t say anything. She kept staring at him with a pleading look in her eyes, only lingering for a few moments before grabbing her phone, her keys, and turning on her heels. The door slammed shut behind her.

_You don’t need her. You only need us. _

Despite the voices, his apartment never felt emptier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as per usual, a convo that happened in another part of the world while dimitri and byleth were getting hot and heavy and emotional
> 
> claude: so mercedes, hi, long time, how have you been  
mercedes: what do you want  
claude: so it turns out like your fiancee is really alive??? and i've been his handler for a year??? and he was in witness protection?? COOL STORY AM I RIGHT  
mercedes: excuse me  
claude: no for real tho lol ima need you to come with me we  
mercedes: no im sorry what  
claude: did i /stutter/


	7. you're dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends!! sorry this took me so long to get around to. i got back from vacation and got hit with a really nasty head cold that turned into a sinus infection which has been triggered my asthma because it is fucking COLD in alaska. it's supposed to be -7 on friday lmao kill me. i've gone from feeling like death to feeling like shit in just the past two days which allowed me to get this chapter out. i've mainly been procrastinating on my black eagles run (my final run of the game before i've played all four routes) and i am so not ready to kill dimitri i am upset
> 
> i say some of the other ones have been long but this one is the longest, by far. a lot of information in one chapter, ya know?? also dedue and dimitri??? but i digress. i spent a LONG time thinking about how dimitri would react to dedue being alive in this au world i've created and wound up settling for this after a few re-writes. good times.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that something was very, very wrong.

Dimitri had stepped into the precinct with a terrible “hangover and smelling faintly of vodka. It wasn’t his best look, he knew that, but at the same time, it was the only way he had managed to push through the weekend after Byleth had left and he hadn’t heard a peep from her. It was an unhealthy coping mechanism but it was an effective one. The rest of the weekend had flown by, even with the storm raging on, and before he knew it, he was walking back into work.

Yet everyone was on edge. Ashe was off in the corner at his desk, his back rigid as he stared at the computer screen. Dimitri didn’t need to be a detective to know that he wasn’t doing any work; his eyes weren’t moving across the screen. Even Ingrid, who was also stationed at her desk, was unmoving and pale in the face. The only one who appeared to have some sense of normalcy was Annette.

“What’s going on?”

Annette titled her head to the side, unsure of what to say to Dimitri. The only thing she knew was that she had to guide him to Seteth’s office per his orders but even that simple tasked seemed complicated. She paused, smelling the alcohol on his clothes, and frowned. It offered a better distraction than the task at hand.

“Take this,” she said as she handed him a breath mint. “I know you’re not stupid enough to come here drunk but you still smell like vodka,” Annette added in a hush whisper as he took the breath mint from her. “Captain wants you in his office. Byleth’s already there.”

_Just what I need_, Dimitri thought back to himself as he knocked back the breath mint and studied Annette. She didn’t look as frazzled as her counterparts but could still tell that there was something on her min. She was gripping the casefile tightly against her chest and had a distant look in her eyes. IT was the look all of them that Dimitri had come across shared.

He muttered his thanks and moved past her, trying to shake the coldness that was settling over his body. Something wasn’t right. It was outside of the normal scope of the feds in the room or someone taking over one of his cases. Dimitri couldn’t place his finger on it but whatever it was, it was worse than the feds getting involved. It was the only thing he could say for sure.

The blonde stepped into his captain’s office, noticing his partner and Seteth. It took him a few seconds before his eye readjusted to the darkness (and why Seteth’s office was dark, he wasn’t too sure) and he studied the room and the occupants in it, his coffee dropping to the floor.

“Dedue?!”

Byleth’s hand was on his arm and Dimitri could feel himself shaking. It wasn’t a sense of relief, like he had always dreamed it would be. No, instead it was fueled by anger and frustration over the fact that his partner was alive and appeared to be standing in front of him. There was no way that this was real.

“I always knew that one day you would be haunting me too.”

His voice was broken, only laced with the smallest hint of anger. He was staring at his former partner, someone he considered to be his best friend, and he was staring back at him. Was he alive? Was this real? The voices in his head were getting louder and the headache was starting to form. Dimitri gripped onto Byleth, hard enough to leave a bruise, as he tried to process the scene in front of him.

_Look at that, he ran away from you. He ran away from you for two years because he knew you were weak and pathetic. Dedue knew that you couldn’t handle a damn thing. You couldn’t even save him. Someone else had to do it. If you can’t save him, how can you avenge us?_

The voice of his father was the loudest. It made him wince as he moved his glance from Dedue to the figure next to him, who he recognized to be as Claude.

“This isn’t a dream, Dimitri. This is real.”

Byleth.

Byleth was speaking to him.

Her voice was soft and soothing and he realized just how hard he was gripping her. Dimitri let go of his grasp as he re-positioned himself, trying to assume the mask of normalcy in his demeanor. There was to much going on in his head for one way to be louder than the others. Yes, the voices were loud, but the fact that he was rooted in reality and that things might be okay were, were loud too.

“This is what I wanted to tell you about,” she added, loud enough that only he could hear. Byleth looked at him with pleading in her eyes, almost begging for forgiveness. She had felt sick to her stomach when she had left him on Saturday only to discover the truth about what had happened to Dedue. The whole time she had been processing her own emotions she had desperately wanted to reach out to Dimitri, to have him right next to her through the whole thing.

Instead Dimitri had dismissed her with a cold tone and she was left with nothing.

“Please take a seat. I can’t have you punching my door again. And don’t mind the lights, that’s done for security purposes.” Seteth leaned back in his chair, watching his detective carefully. He knew that this was going to go badly but at the same time he knew that there was nothing he could do about it.

Byleth pulled Dimitri to the seat next to her, his grasp not letting go of hers. The harder he grasped, the more he realized that this was real. In the morning, when he would wake up with another hangover, he would realize the damage he had done to Byleth’s skin. At this point, he didn’t care.

“I’m sorry, Detective. There wasn’t much we could do,” Claude said.

Byleth had known that Claude was working with the Marshalls. When they had met, he had decided that patrol life wasn’t for him and was switching to another branch. She hadn’t expected him to wind up being a handler for witness protection, let alone with someone she knew. As much as she wanted to hate him for keeping such a big secret from her, she knew she couldn’t fault him. It was part of the job. All of this was part of the job and she would have to accept it.

“Where do you want to begin? I know you have a lot of questions.”

“The beginning. I watched you _die_.” Dimitri was the first to speak, his voice hard and showing no emotion.

Dedue stepped forward, watching his friend carefully. The reunion with his friend was worst than he thought it would be and that was saying a lot because he knew it was going to be miserable.

“I did not die. On the operating table, they were able to remove the bullet fragments after a few hours. Upon further review of the evidence and what led to me being shot and the implications it had for the department, the decision was made to declare me legally dead and put me in witness protection.” If Dedue had his way, he wouldn’t have gone into witness protection. He would have stayed by Dimitri’s side and solved the case until he died. Lying was worse than being dead.

“It was the best decision at the time, Detective. We were able to discover that the group, to which we know as Slither at this time, had infiltrated the department. The lead you two had was false; it was designed to lure you in and kill you both. It was luck that the bomb they had set off didn’t explode, which was why they resorted to a sniper. You’re lucky to be alive,” Claude spoke carefully, leaning against the wind casually.

_They should have killed you when they had the chance. Shame that they missed. They’re doing a better job at avenging us than you ever did._

Dimitri leaned back into the couch, trying to process all the information that was being thrown at him. The problem he was running into was that there was so much to process he felt his body becoming numb. Becoming numb meant that he could shut down and he didn’t have to worry about complicated emotions. Shutting down was so much easier than living in this harsh reality.

“So there’s no point in telling you that we were able to forged documents in the M.E’s office?”

Seteth shook his head. “No, not really. It’s helpful that we know it’s down to the M.E’s office but you also know that doesn’t mean much because the patrol and detective divisions filter through there all the time. Anyone in the department has access to those documents. Even if we got ahold of the chain of custody, we know that the documents have been forged and still lead us nowhere. Of course, we’re still obtaining those documents, but we don’t expect much.”

“What does this mean, then? What’s the point? You’ve practically broken my partner. If he wasn’t gripping my arm for dear life, I would say that you killed him of shock. You think that most leads are pointless and you’ve brought Dedue back from the “dead” expect for the fact that he wasn’t even _dead_. You thought it was better to whisk him off with the Marshall’s than it was to face the reality that there was someone in the department that was _killing _people for getting to close.”

Byleth was angry. Her body was starting to shake. God, she needed a cigarette. Her voice wasn’t rising but it wasn’t hard to tell that she was angry. It was enough for Claude to realize that her emotions were all over the place, mostly due to the blonde that was clinging ono her for dear life. Truthfully, he didn’t blame her.

“You’re asking us to investigate a case that needs to be handled by fucking internal affairs. People have been _dying _for this case since we were in patrol. Is it sick joke that you pulled us, the ones who responded to the first murder all those years ago, to investigate the damn thing? Do you really think that was a wise decision? Why not put a damn target on our backs?!” Byleth sighed. “Cap, pardon my language, but this is fucking bullshit.”

“I don’t disagree with you.” And Seteth didn’t. He had known the connections that the two of them shared to the beginning of the case, or at least the beginning that had brought to the attention to the department. Yet his hands were tied. When the Chief of police made a decision, she made a decision. He had pleaded with Rhea to move the case to internal affairs, to have someone else take the case. No such luck.

“I pulled Dedue out on my request, Detectives. I wouldn’t have done it if I thought I could keep him safe in witness protection. Truthfully? I think he’s not safe there. At least with him out in the open, we pulled the rug from under their feet and are finally one step ahead. We will all be working together on this. You can’t get rid of me that easily, Teach.” Claude winked at Byleth, desperate to break the tension in the room.

Dedue was silent as he observed the room. He was aware that this was going to be complicated and that it was going to bring a lot of complicated emotions into the mix. His meeting with Mercedes had been peaceful, even though she had slapped Claude across the face for keeping such a secret from her. The taller man was aware that this meeting with Dimitri would be complicated, to say the least. What he hadn’t expected was for him to shut down. Furrowing his brow, he looked towards his former partner, noticing how emotion was drained from his face. It was alarming; this was worse than the anger.

“Joy,” Byleth responded, her voice tight.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

“You should go to him.”

“Seriously, I can’t stand to look at him, pretending to be nursing his beer. It’s pathetic. _Do _something about the boar.”

“Come on, leave him alone, he just had the shock of his life.”

“Then why did he agree to go out with us?” Annette’s question was the most logical of the group.

Felix scoffed. “Does it look like he agreed to go out with us? No, he knew were going here and he said yes because Byleth practically begged him to stay out of the house.”

Byleth glared at Felix, her whiskey tight in her grasp. She was going to tell him to fuck off but knew that there would be no malice in her words. She had begged Dimitri to come out with them, knowing that all of the precinct would need a drink after the day that they had. She had even invited Dedue, who had respectfully declined due to spending his time getting readjusted to his life with Mercedes, who had welcomed him back with open arms and no questions at all.

“You should really go to him and bring him over to the table, at least,” Ingrid said to Byleth, worry evident on her face. This was the biggest step of progress they had in two years and she was at a loss for what to do. Bringing Dimitri to the table might bring the mood down when they were trying to have a happier day but maybe that was what they needed.

Sylvain took a sip of his beer before speaking. “Sure, if you went a debbie downer joining the table. Then again, he’s probably not going to speak much. I’d go offer my beautiful charm on him but I don’t think it will work quiet as well as it will for the beauty across the table in front of me.”

Byleth groaned in response as she downed her whiskey and motioned for another one.

“How about we talk about the facts of the case and then I go and invite Dimitri over, ok?” Her voice was pleading. As much as she wanted the blonde by her side, she knew the state he was in. Every part of his body had shut down and turned into nothing. Nothing was scarier than anger. At least when Dimitri was angry, she knew she could talk him down after some coaxing. When he was numb? That was a different story.

Claude picked up on her tone, a smirk on his face. “You mean you guys don’t want to know the juicy, hot goss, as the kids would say? Dedue is alive and I’ve been his handler for a year and you’re so focused on tall, dark and handsome? I’m _offended_.”

Although nobody wanted to admit to it, Claude had a point. They were all intrigued by the case and what it meant for the precinct and the department. However, they all also understood that this case was a need to know basis and had so many twist and turns that it would be hard to wrap their head around. It was hard to keep everything confidential when they shared a working space but the group knew that Dimitri and Byleth did their best.

“Well slap my ass, of course I do. Don’t tease me like that!” Sylvain winked at Claude, earning a collective groan from Ingrid and Ashe.

“Are you sure you can tell us this without compromising the investigation? Catherine would be pissed if this made it to her desk to find out it was leaked and full of holes due to us discussing it,” Annette asked, a frown on her face. Given her close proximity to working with the D.A, she knew this case had to be airtight and pristine.

“I am the handler. I do as a please.” Besides, Claude wasn’t worried about it. If Byleth trusted the people in the both then he did too. He knew it would distract them from the fact that Byleth was constantly looking over her shoulder at Dimitri, who hadn’t touched his beer. Taking a sip of his beer, Claude leaned back into his chair and began.

“It started about five years ago. You remember that officer, uh, I can’t remember his name to save my life, but he was killed in an ambush. It was ruled to be a typical white male who hated the idea of cops and felt they were all pigs, so he killed him point blank range.” A couple of nods and a few murmurs of acknowledgement went throughout the group. “Well, it wasn’t that simple. He was the first officer that had responded to a botched-up drug deal. Turns out there was a ton of evidence which lead that officer to figuring out who the suspect was.”

Claude took a long sip of his beer, trying to gauge the room. Everyone but Byleth was paying attention. He continued. “He was going through the whole investigation with the detectives when they discovered that it was a patrol officer who was involved. Next thing we knew, he was dead. Boy wonder and this beauty were the ones who responded to his crime scene. Anyways, his Captain was Captain Einser, who was well aware of the investigation.”

Byleth turned her attention away from Dimitri back to Claude upon hearing her father’s name. This was the first she was hearing about her father’s involvement, other than the suspicious. Everything that involved her father was either redacted or not in the casefile she had been handed.

“Not quite sure what happened there but he wound up stabbed to death in an alley about a month later. Feds wrote it off as a potential coincidence and kept it under the radar.” Claude paused, unsure of how to proceed. He knew the next part involved Byleth and her transfer to Enbarr with Edelgard. How much of that had she revealed? He suspected that she told them little, given the situation regarding Edelgard.

Claude hadn’t missed that she had tensed and was grasping her glass with such force that she might break it. Byleth offered an apology and excused herself, moving back to her partner who was staring at the wall at the end of the bar.

“Give or take three years and your boy wonder and Dedue are working a typical drug ring case. They think they can crack it but someone is always one step ahead of them. Dedue realized that the group, otherwise known at the time as ‘Slither,’ was associated to the police officer that was killed a few years prior. What he realized, and what we didn’t, was a small tattoo that was on the ribcages. It was designed to look like a mole but further investigation from Dedue revealed it to be an S. It was their branding. I think you know the history from there.”

They did. Dimitri and Dedue had responded to a call out regarding a potential buy from one of their informants. The buy had gone bad. The informant had died on the scene and Dedue was rushed to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead.

“Expect he’s not dead. He figured out their mark and the feds decided that was too much information that was valuable and they whisked him away to witsec. And you only pulled him out because of what, the ‘suicide’ a few days ago?” Ashe asked.

“He was a low-ranking member of Slither. The tattoo confirmed it.”

Sylvain let out a low whistle and reached for Felix’s hand under the table. He wasn’t prone to this public display of affection, especially given Felix’s preference to _not _let people know they were together, but he felt that the information called for it. Truthfully, the information scared him. Two cops had already died for it and they had pulled one into witness protection. The information scared the living hell out of him. He felt Felix give him a small squeeze of comfort.

“That’s a lot of information to process. And I’m sure that’s only the edited version,” Ingrid said as she tried to piece all the information together. It was almost too much to handle, even though the information seemed simple: there was a gang. The gang killed cops. The gang was bad. Still, they were killing people close to her. It put a new perspective on just how dangerous the job was. She ran her hand across her forehead, not realizing the sweat that had been building up.

The five remained silent as they processed the information. Claude observed as he drank his beer.

“Hey, where’d Byleth go?” Annette was the first to speak after a few moments of mulling the information.

“With the boar.”

* * *

“Dimitri, you should come sit with us.”

“Go away.”

It was the same old song and dance that Byleth was used to. She would ask him to do something, he would tell her to fuck off or go away, and she would ask again.

The mint haired woman reached out a hand and placed it on his arm. Dimitri didn’t flinch, which raised alarms. He normally flinched from her touch, even during the weekend, when they had gotten comfortable with each other, he had flinched before relaxing. Instead he was sitting on his barstool, staring at his beer, his blue eye unmoving from the spot.

“Please, come sit with us. At least next to me. You’re numb and you need to be around people.” _I’m worried about you_ was unspoken but well received by Dimitri.

Slowly, he turned his gaze from the beer towards the woman. There was a frantic look of worry in her eyes and it looked like she hadn’t slept in a few days. It was the first time he had gotten a proper look at her since this morning, when the information of Dedue had sent his nervous system into overdrive and resulted in him shutting down. Byleth looked to be at a loss for what to do and it was just enough for him to realize that maybe he should move.

“I promise I won’t let them harass you to much as long as you promise not to be a dick to them first. Please. I really want you to come sit with us.” Byleth was practically begging by this point and it frustrated her. She hated begging, especially when it came to Dimitri.

Dimitri didn’t say anything as he stood up and grabbed his beer, silently indicating for her to lead the way. He didn’t want to admit to it but Byleth’s presence offered comfort and at this moment, he desperately needed it.

_You don’t need her. You only need us. You will only ever need us. _

He flinched as the voices spoke for the first time in a few hours. The blonde had been so drowned in his own sorrows that they had been quiet, waiting to speak when the time was right. If Byleth had noticed his flinch, she didn’t say anything. She held onto his hand and lead the way back to their table.

“Look what the cat dragged in! Shit, long time no see,” Sylvain said as Byleth and Dimtiri slid into the booth. Dimitri didn’t say anything as he finally took a sip from his warm beer, grimacing at the taste.

“Do you want me to get you another beer? I assume it tastes like warm piss,” Ingrid offered with a small smile, her hands moving towards her nose. There was a wetness coming that she couldn’t place. She hadn’t been feeling well for the past hour but had brushed it to the side. It had been a long day, after all.

“Ingrid, you’re bleeding.” Ashe’s voice was full of worry as he moved closer to his friend, studying her. “You’re really pale, too. Are you okay? Do you need Annette and I to take you home?”

The bloody nose had caught everyone’s attention, much to Ingrid’s annoyance. She waived him off and coughed into her sleeve.

“It’s just the start of a cold, Ashe. I get bloody noses when the air is dry, too. It’s no big deal.” Ingrid coughed again and when she pulled her sleeve away, what little colour she had in her face drained.

There was blood on her sleeve and a lot of it. Had that come from the coughing? Ingrid suspected so and it alarmed her. Why was she coughing up blood? Was this related to the fact that she felt faint and sweaty?

“Call 911.”

Her voice was void of the authority she normally held. She blinked a few times before slumping down against the table, her pulse weak and breathing non-existent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like i said in the beginning i spent a long time deciding on how dimitri would react to dedue being alive in this au world i've created. given the nature of everything and the fact that byleth has only just come back into his life around a month ago, i think it would overwhelm him. i think it would completely shut him down. the dimitri i've written is the middle ground of him being feral and normal dimitri. he leans more towards the feral side but given what it takes to be a police officer, there's really no way he could get around with being 100% post time-skip dimitri so you have this mash-up. i think his feelings are so strong at this point that he just finds out dedue is alive and people lied to him and have been lying to him (byleth, seteth, dedue, etc) that it just shut him down. to him, being numb is easier than processing everything else. being numb also means his demons aren't as loud, which he has now just discovered. so there's that. (welcome to the black parade plays in the background for emo dimitri) 
> 
> anyways here's some comedy  
\---  
sylvain: think they're having a three way in there  
ingrid: dimitri byleth and seteth???? are you fuckin high???  
sylvain: dude seteth is a fuckin /daddy/  
ingrid: i will shoot you. with my gun. between your eyes.  
sylvain: /daddy seteth/


	8. into the unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW HELLO MY LOVES.
> 
> i did delete the update because i'm anal enough that i want my chapters to match so you know. but tl;dr, i was going through a really rough time and writing became a chore. i never want writing to become a chore because it's what forces me to produce garbage and come to hate it. so i took a step back, got my shit together, and then a fucking pandemic happened.
> 
> i live in alaska and let me tell you, what a fucking shitshow. i'm an essential employee with the state troopers and there hasn't been a day (expect for today!) that i haven't cried due to the stress. anchorage issued hunker down (shelter in place but we can go outside bc nature) about a week ago and the state just followed suit today. so working in a ghost town, constantly being exposed without my state giving a shit about me (my union sued the state lmao) = stress. which in return gave me this. i've got a lot of time on my hands now outside of work and i'm feeling the writing juju so i should be back for the foreseeable future, minus the whole "hey you're constantly exposed to corona and are probably gonna get it based off where you work AND you're high risk"
> 
> trigger warning for suicidal ideation. i talk about it a bit more at the end notes. yikes, dimitri's voices are mean.

The world was moving too fast for Dimitri to process.

One minute, Ingrid had been fine and the next, she had been slumped down over the table and not breathing. She barely had a pulse. If it hadn’t been for Ashe’s quick thinking, Dimitri was sure that she would be dead. Instead she was fighting for her life and in a medically induced coma while the medical staff made sure they were giving her the best chance for survival.

_Look at that, another person is dying on your watch. _

Dimitri winced as Glenn’s voice spoke to him. Of course it would be Glenn’s voice. The thought almost made him laugh.

“Leave me alone.”

_How can I do that? You failed miserably, again, but of course you did. You always fail. Why bother sitting here, hoping that she’ll come out of that coma? You killed her. This is your fault. Do everyone a favour and take the bullet next time. You’re no use to anyone alive._

He knew that he would be better off dead, that much was a given. He didn’t need Glenn’s harsh voice in his head reminding him. He groaned as he shifted his position on the hospital chair and fought the urge to close his eyes. It would be better if he went home, to be alone, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave the hospital. No, he needed to know if Ingrid was going to be okay.

_There’s plenty of options here for you to kill yourself. What do you want? We could do drugs, that would be easy. Just a couple of pills down the hatch and you’ll be convulsing on the floor. Or do you want to be more dramatic? Mercedes probably has access to a scalpel; they could find you bleeding out on the floor of a bathroom like the pathetic human you are. _

Cradling his head in his hands, Dimitri grabbed onto his hair and tugged. It wasn’t hard enough to pull out clumps of hair like he used to but it was enough to feel something, to feel _anything_ other than Glenn’s harsh tone.

_Don’t give him the option of being a coward, let’s make him suffer._

He winced as his father’s voice joined Glenn’s. Why couldn’t they just disappear? They had been so quiet earlier, what had happened? Dimitri would have given anything to go back to the silence. The silence was peaceful. This was torture.

“Leave me alone, please. I can’t take this right now,” Dimitri spoke to himself softly, like it would change anything. No, it would just make them louder. His head was starting to throb from the voices.

“Did you say something?”

Dimitri opened his eye and looked up to find Byleth standing in front of him, a concerned look on her face. She looked exhausted. Sure, he knew that the older woman was carrying it well but he could see the glassy look in her eyes and the way that she was shifting her balance. In fact, she looked like she was close to crying, something that Dimitri hadn’t seen in over five years.

He readjusted his position and sat straight up, ignoring the pain his back. “No? Must have been someone else in the area.”

_Fucking liar. Like she would believe you anyways. She doesn’t give a shit about you, remember that. _

“Oh.” Byleth didn’t believe him but knew it was better than to press the issue. At this point, Dimitri wasn’t being hostile with her and she would take it. At least he was talking more than he had earlier, which she considered to be a small bonus. “Mercedes said if we don’t leave in a few minutes she’s going to kick us out herself since sitting here won’t help us solve a damn thing.” She paused, a small smile on her face. “Expect I paraphrased the last part. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her swear.”

Dimitri snorted in response and immediately cursed himself for it. The whole “stop showing emotion in front of Byleth, it’s way easier that way” thought process wasn’t working for him. Granted, he had only decided a few hours ago that this was the way he was going to live his life and it was only because the voices had been silent. Since they weren’t silent anymore, what was the point? He didn’t know anymore.

“I can drive you home. Come on, let’s go. There’s really no point in being here right now. She’s not awake.”

Byleth reached out her hand to Dimitri to help him up from his seat but he dismissed it quickly, shooting straight up from his seat and brushing right past her.

“I don’t need your help. I can get home fine on my own.”

His tone was short and dismissive and he noticed how Byleth took a step back immediately, a frown on her face.

“Fine. But don’t come crying to me when you can’t sleep tonight.” Byleth turned on her heels and walked away from him, making no effort to look back.

_She was a cunt anyways. You’re only proving how pathetic you are._

Dimitri thought he was going to be sick.

* * *

“I fucked up, Dedue. I should have said something. I should have done anything!” Byleth was pacing back and forth in the man’s living room, her body tense.

Byleth had already worked through her emotions when it came to Ingrid. As clinical as it was, she knew that it could have happened anywhere and to anyone. Did it make it any easier? No, because it had been a specific targeted attack designed to rattle her to her core. It also served as a harsh reminder that they weren’t safe, no matter what they did. Claude also reckoned that they were pissed about Dedue coming back into the picture. There were a lot of factors to the situation that made it easier for her to process and be rational, even if all she wanted to do was scream. Plus, she believed it was what Ingrid would have wanted.

It had been an easy series of fact to accept and that scared the living hell out of her. Mercedes had recommended that she not be alone tonight and pushed for her to go back to her place, where she knew Dedue would be because she knew that Dimitri would push her to the side (which frustrated her to no end but that was a battle for another time). Being alone at a time like this was scary. 

“You could not have done anything. You know that. You were lucky that they let you leave him a note the night you left.” Dedue handed her a glass. “It’s tea, please drink it. It will help calm your nerves.”

Byleth glared at him. “I hate that you’re right.” She took the glass into her hands and plopped down on the couch, sighing. “I wasn’t even supposed to leave a note, if you could even call that a note.” She took a sip of her tea, instantly feeling her body relax. “How come Mercedes just forgave you? Like, Claude literally showed up with you at her doorstep and she welcomed you back with no questions asked?”

“There were questions, a lot of them. Her questions were more logistical than anything.” Dedue offered a small shrug. “I like to believe that she always knew something was off and that I wasn’t dead. Knowing her, she probably prayed to the Goddess every chance she could in hopes that I would come back. Her faith is strong; it doesn’t shatter easily. If anything, I would believe that this reaffirmed her faith.”

Mercedes had never given up hope that something was off with Dedue’s death but she had come to terms with it. She mourned him and started to put her life back together, just like he would have wanted, that’s what she told Byleth. It was almost admirable.

“He’s never going to forgive me. He’s going to hate me until the day he dies and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I broke him.”

“But did you?”

The question caught Byleth off guard. The answer was no, she did not break him. She might have been the one that lit the fuse on the firework but Dimitri was already becoming unhinged before she had disappeared into the night. Something had changed in Dimitri after her father’s death. It had taken him weeks to pry the information out of him, that he suspected Edelgard was involved in her father’s murder and that she was lying about everything and that something was very, very wrong.

Looking back on it, Byleth realized he had started to falter after a rather explosive flight between the two friends. One night, he and Edelgard were fine, talking about something Linhardt had done and how it would have gotten them all screwed and the next, he was ready to strangle her with his bare hands. Sure, they had started growing apart after being stationed in different places, all three of them had, but had that really been the tipping point?

Byleth sighed in defeat. “No, I know I didn’t. And I still don’t know what caused his suspicion of Edelgard. He wasn’t able to talk about it then, he won’t talk about it now. I know it took a lot for him to be friends with her again when we crossed paths in the academy after what happened when they were kids but even that seems silly.” She ran a hand through her hair as she took another sip of her tea. “Sorry, thinking out loud.”

Dedue offered her a smile. “It’s okay. Truthfully, I missed our talks.”

Byleth snorted. “You mean my lamenting about whatever was going on in my life and me begging you to tell me information about Dimitri?”

“Something like that.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, something that Byleth missed. In the last few years, she had come to realize that she wasn’t comfortable with silence; it allowed her to be alone with her thoughts and left her paranoid. It was Sothis’s version of payback, that’s what she figured. But with Dedue, it was easy to be in silence. She felt safe, which was something she hadn’t fell in a while.

It didn’t take long for the conversation to pick back up and for them to catch up. Mostly it was Byleth asking questions about what it was like to be in witness protection and what it was like having Claude be his handler (something she wouldn’t wish upon anyone). Occasionally Dedue would ask questions about her life and try to figure out everything he had missed in the two years he had been gone. She dodged around the questions that revolved around her partner, even if they were few and far between.

In the middle of the story that Byleth was recounting about something stupid Sylvain had done in the past month, her phone buzzed and she felt her blood run cold. Out of habit, she had assigned everyone a specific ringtone for when they called her. It was easier to field calls that way; one for work, one for friends and specific ones for those that were close to her.

“I know you don’t want to but you should take it.”

Although things had changed in two years, Dedue believed that he knew Dimitri well. He knew that even though he had brushed Byleth off with indifference, he would reach out. It was one of the more frustrating personality traits his friend had. It also didn’t take a genius to figure out that even if Dimitri desperately wanted to keep her six feet away, he would always want her around. It wasn’t healthy by any means but given the dynamic of the police force, Dedue knew there was only so much he could do other than offer his support.

Byleth shot him an apologetic look as she stood up and grabbed her phone from her jacket pocket. There was two missed calls and three text messages. Furrowing her brow, she opened the messages before checking her missed call log, knowing fully well who had called her. Two of them were unimportant memes from Sylvain in their group chat. It was the one from Dimtiri that made her stomach drop.

_I can’t be alone tonight. Please. _

It was like a wave had washed over her. She found herself back to five years ago, the night the two of them had responded to the call that would start it all. Grabbing her things, she wished Dedue goodnight and made her way towards her partners house, her body on auto pilot.

* * *

**five years ago**.

_“What are you doing?” _

_Byleth paused, unsure of the answer she was willing to give her best friend. He was pressed up against the wall, his breathing labored, and she was pinned against him, aware of just how thin the fabric was on her shirt._

_“That could have been us, Dimitri. We could have been dead.” She looked up at him, the fear evident in her face. Dimitri frowned as he reached a hand up to her face and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I’d like to be reminded that we’re among the living.”_

_Her body was tingling. She gently placed a hand on his chest and noticed how soft his skin was. Had it always been like this? She was sure that it had or maybe it was just the reality she had come to accept since she had come to terms with her feelings for the younger man. Did he feel the same? She could only hope so but it wasn’t that simple._

_“Please don’t ask anymore questions,” she said as she leaned in and closed the distance between them, capturing his lips._

_Dimitri hadn’t expected the kiss but accepted it with enthusiasm. He was ashamed to admit to himself that he had thought about this very moment since he had first met Byleth. The blonde had long since accepted being her friend, if that’s all he could have, but part of him hoped that it would lead to something more. With a small smile against her lips, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close._

_Surely this is what heaven felt like._

_After what felt like hours, but was surely on a few moments, Byleth pulled away and a whine escaped Dimitri’s lips. He didn’t care that it sounded pathetic; Byleth was in his arms and Sothis, she was kissing him. It was better than his dreams._

_“Do you want me to stop?” Dimitri asked, his forehead pressing against hers._

_Did she want him to stop? No. She wanted to keep going, to be touched and fucked senseless to remind her that she was alive, that they were alive, and that it was all going to be okay. But as much as she enjoyed kissing Dimitri, she knew there was something she wanted more and it wasn’t fair to use Dimitri like. No, Dimitri didn’t deserve her cold indifference towards having sex for pleasure. _

_“It’s not fair to you,” Byleth began. “I want this. I want this so bad – but I want this because I don’t want to be alone tonight. I can’t handle being alone tonight, not after what happened, and that’s not fair to you.”_

_Dimitri chuckled softly as he looked down at her, the sadness in his eyes matching hers. “I can’t be alone tonight either, By. Please.” He was close, his lips brushing up against hers. In this moment, he didn’t care that it was just a way to be alive. He didn’t care about anything other than the fact that it was Byleth. That was all that mattered._

_He didn’t give her a chance to respond before kissing her._

* * *

“Dimitri, it’s me,” Byleth spoke softly as she stepped into the apartment, locking the door behind her. He had left the door unlocked for her. She would chew him out for that later. Cop or not, he shouldn’t have left his door unlocked under the assumption that she might be coming over. When she got no response, she took off her shoes and stepped into the apartment, making her way towards the living room.

It was a good guess, considering how Dimitri was sitting on the couch, his face in his hands, the T.V. playing in the background. His body was shaking and she could tell that he was using all of his willpower to hold back from sobbing.

“I’m going to come sit by you, okay? And then I’m going to grab your hands and take them away from your face, please don’t punch me.” It was supposed to be said in jest but she was also serious. It was a reaction that anyone, especially a police officer, would have when they were in the state of breaking down and someone grabbed them unexpectedly.

The man nodded and Byleth sat down next to him, doing as she said she would. She grabbed his hands and pulled them away from his face, a frown on hers as she took him in. He really was worse off than she had thought. He wasn’t wearing his eye patch, which was the biggest indicator of them all. The eye was still there but visibly scarred and glassy, indicating blindness. Byleth could see why he opted for the eye patch; it didn’t change her opnion of him. If anything, he looked more beautiful to her than before.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Do you?” He swiftly responded, leaning into her touch. She was warm and comforting. Dimitri bit his lip to hold back the tears. He may have broken down and texted and called Byleth, begging her to come over, but he refused to cry in front of her.

“That’s up to you. Just let me know if I need to leave, okay?”

Dimitri almost laughed. This conversation was almost word-for-word the conversation they had after her father had died. She had been sitting on the couch, trying to hold herself together, and Dimitri had been right next to her, holding her until she finally fell asleep.

“It’ll be worse if you leave.”

_Worse? Ha! You wish it would be worse. You’re just being a coward. Typical. You can’t even find the courage to take your own life. Fucking pathetic. _

“Then I won’t leave.”

_Kick her out. Kick her out now. Scream at her, yell at her, degrade her, do whatever you can to get the cunt out. I cannot believe you’re letting her get in the way. She said she won’t leave but what did she do last time? She left. _

Dimitri turned to face her and the dam broke. It was all too much and he was overwhelmed. The tears were falling and he couldn’t stop them. Byleth wrapped her arms around him and held him close, running a hand through his hair, trying to calm him down. She knew that it wouldn’t work but it brought her comfort.

“I know you don’t believe me, Dimka. I know. But I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere,” Byleth spoke softly against his hair as he continued to cry. He didn’t acknowledge her but she hadn’t expected him to. “You’re going to get through this and I’m going to be with you every step of the way, as long as you let me. You wanted me to prove it, right?” A soft chuckle escaped her lips. “I guess this is one of my many ways of doing so. Just don’t shut me out.”

_Shut her out. Shut her out. SHUT HER OUT. _

Dimitri didn’t have the strength to fight back with his father. His head was pounding from the dehydration that was setting in from the sobbing. They were getting louder but the more he leaned into Byleth, the more he realized that he could shut them out. At least, he could in this moment. He didn’t know what was going to happen in the coming days.

“I love you, Dimitri. I’m not going anywhere.”

For the first time since they reconnected, he believed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there's a few things.
> 
> 1) ingrid is acting in place of rodrigue. is she gonna die? is she gonna live? (shrug). either way, it was enough to truly break dimitri. also i am sure i am on a watchlist somewhere since i googled "symptoms of arsenic poisoning" and "what's the best type of poison that causes you to cough up blood" (dont @ me fbi i'm a writer).
> 
> 2) he's been suicidal for a long, long, time. however, i would say that he hasn't been actively suicidal, more so just the "well if i die, fuck it. am i being reckless? yes, fuck it. so what?" as opposed to actually creating a plan. all of the thought process comes from "this is how i can get my voices to stop." dimitri has pstd that manifest psychosis symptoms. does his police mandated therapist know about that? not a chance in hell.
> 
> 3) the way i'm writing dimitri's pstd reflects my own, minus the psychosis. i can move between numb and cold in the drop of a hat. it's exhausting and i've found that i tend to get really cold and indifferent and then numb because i am overwhelmed by the world around me. i have broken down out of just being 100% overwhelmed, which is what's going on with sad boi. mental illness is different for everyone! mental illness also does not excuse you being a dick (i'm looking @ u dimitri)
> 
> 4) dedue and byleth are tight, don't @ me. also the reason they're all relatively accepting of dedue coming out of witsec is purely due to the nature of their jobs. it's a shock to the system but that's the price you pay when you're a cop. it's not personal.
> 
> 5) dimitri and edelgard are step-siblings. families are still dead though. still lots of drama. they became really good friends as adults when they reconnected at the academy bc byleth forced them to be friends again.
> 
> 6) now i gotta find a way to include my ashen wolves and honestly............... i'm not mad about it.
> 
> here's comedy while i cry:  
ashe: shit shit shit  
annette: did we really just get pulled over  
ashe: i was SPEEDING, annette. i was bREAKING THE LAW.  
annette: ......... you were going like 5 over  
ashe: /breaking the law/


	9. i'm no hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three day weekend and i can only leave my house to get groceries means another chapter. well, also i needed a break from animal crossing since them FUCKING TARANTULAS ARE PISSING ME OFF. my boyfriend can catch one but no, i decide to get ATTACKED by them fucking things. we were on the phone today and i got attacked by one and he laughed at me so hard. :c what day is it? i don't know anymore.
> 
> y'all ready to find out why byleth left dimitri??? no??? i mean that's fair. oh well, that's what you're gonna get.
> 
> song of the chapter (which i highly recommend listening to, since it's what i put on repeat to write this)  
"wolves" by selena gomez and marshmello.

For the first time in years, something other than nightmares woke Dimitri up.

It was Byleth’s snoring. He had forgotten how loud she was. Back when they had been basically living together, he had gotten used to her snores. He had found it oddly comforting, despite the fact that he would tease her relentlessly for it. It also gave him a good excuse to explain why he was so tired, even through everyone knew it was a lie.

He sat up in the bed and turned to look at the sleeping woman next to him, a small smile appearing on his face. She was passed out cold and wearing one of his shirts, something she had done often in the past. When had he given her one of his shirts to sleep in? He couldn’t recall. His head was pounding from the crying and dehydration. He couldn’t remember when they had made it to the bed.

_Kick her out. Why would you let her share your bed? Pathetic. _

Grimacing at his fathers voice, he got out of the bed and did his best to ignore them. Dimitri didn’t want to wake up Byleth and he didn’t want to engage in a conversation. He also didn’t want to admit how easy he had found it to push his father’s comments to the side with Byleth asleep in his bed.

“Sothis, I really am pathetic,” he mumbled to himself as he made his way towards the living room. It would be wise to eat but he wasn’t hungry. He only had one goal in mind and that was to look over the casefiles that were spread out across his floor.

After dismissing Byleth and coming home from the hospital, Dimitri had taken to placing the files on his living room floor in chronological order. First was the original crime scene, the one the patrol officer had responded to. Connected to that was everything from his investigation, as well as the notes from Captain Jeralt that Dimitri had been able to get his hands on. Following that was Captain Jeralt’s homicide. In the gap between Jeralt and Dedue’s death was the small intelligence he had gathered regarding Edelgard (and by default, Hubert). He didn’t know the timeline of how she fit into everything, but three years seemed too long of a time for an organized crime to stay silent. There was another gap for the two years between Dedue and Byleth coming back, which lead to the gun, the low-level thug, and now Ingrid.

Dimitri could stare at it for hours and still find himself frustrated over the lack of evidence. It was part of what happened last night; he had been pouring over the evidence and when Patricia joined Glenn and Lambert, he had snapped. The first thing he had done was reach for his phone because despite brushing Byleth off earlier, he knew that she would come over if he asked. It was rare that they vocally expressed not wanting to be alone. Dimitri was banking on it ringing alarm bells for her.

It had and within the hour she was holding him on his couch as he sobbed pathetically. She whispered sweet nothings in his ear and did her best to support him. After half an hour of crying, but what felt like hours, Byleth had drug him into the bedroom and tucked him into bed. That was the last he could truly remember before drifting off into a blissful sleep.

Carefully, he picked open the first file and studied it. It was the thousandth time studying it but maybe with proper sleep something would change.

_It’s not going to change because you’re a shit detective. It’s amazing you were even promoted. Seriously, who would ever want to have you on their case? You can’t figure out a god damn thing. Fucking pathetic. _

Before he could protest, the sound of Byleth sitting down on the couch startled him back into reality.

“What are you doing up? You should go back to sleep,” Dimitri said gently as he looked up at her. She looked just as exhausted as she had when she had walked through the door a few hours ago. He knew that he was a lost cause and would be unable to sleep but that didn’t mean he wanted Byleth to stay awake with him.

“I woke up and you weren’t there and I got nervous.” Her voice was hoarse and groggy, indicating that she was barely awake. Byleth reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. She didn’t miss that he was fighting the urge to flinch away but eventually relaxed into her touch. “What are you looking at?”

“Just the case. Seriously, love, go back to sleep. You don’t need to stay awake because I am.”

_Love? Did you just call her love? Sothis, kill yourself now. You’re not worthy of loving someone_.

“I’m not going back into that bed without you next to me. Nice try,” Byleth replied defiantly, even though she could feel the exhaustion creeping up. This was what had started his spiral earlier, did he really think being alone in his thoughts would help him? “I’m your partner, if you’re going to look over the case, then I want to help.”

Dimitri sighed as he sat next to her. “Why are you so damn stubborn? I’m not fragile. I can handle looking at the case while you get some rest.” His tone was harsher than he intended but he stood by it. If he was going to trust her, like he had last night, he would have to work on his tone. That was going to be an uphill battle.

“I worry about you, of course I’m not going to let you look at these files by yourself. But I don’t think looking at them right now will do us any good. We’re exhausted, we’re sensitive and we need to take a step back. I also think we should let someone else review them,” Byleth replied, growing more confident in her voice as she started to wake up. She would have loved to sleep but only getting a few hours was something she was used to.

“Not a chance in hell.”

Byleth rolled her eyes. “Stop being so fucking protective over this. There’s no point anymore. We can give parts of it to Sylvain, Felix and Ashe. Dedue already knows enough but I’m not sure what Cap wants us to do regarding his involvement. Give the entire casefile to Claude. He’s going to have more insight as the one working with the marshals than the rest of us.”

_Claude. See? She’s already running to Claude! They’re better for each other than you two are. You’re nothing. _

“I’m not fucking giving this case to Claude.” The anger was starting to seep back into his words. There was only one reason for him not wanting to give it to Claude: it was jealously. Just the thought made him sick to his stomach that he was so possessive. “What good do you think it will do? Seriously? Thanks for the fucking vote of confidence in my abilities to solve this case.”

“Sothis, this isn’t about _you, _Dimitri. Stop thinking it is!” Her face was void of emotion but he knew she was angry. It was the small twitch of her eyes that gave it away. “We need help. It’s okay to ask for help, which I know you clearly have an issue with accepting. One minute you’re fucking begging for me to come over, sobbing in my chest, and then next you’re trying to push me out the door. I get it. You can do that to me; you can’t do that to anyone else, _especially _not when it concerns the fate of the police department.”

Her words stung. Dimitri shrinked back and looked away from her, feeling ashamed. She was right. He would pull her close, let down his guard and then he would do everything he could to push her away. How was he supposed to get past the war that was raging on inside of his head? Glenn and Lambert were _loud_.

They were silent for a few moments as Dimitri tried to recollect his thoughts. He knew that if he spoke right away, it would be out of anger and it would be harsh. He would demand that she walk out that door without her belongs and lock the door behind him. It still seemed like the ideal option and Lambert was demanding it. Taking a deep breath, he turned back to her.

“You’re right,” Dimitri spoke, barely louder than a whisper. “I know you’re right. But I’m not giving out a damn thing regarding Edelgard. That one is _mine_.” He clenched his fists together thinking about his sibling.

Byleth reached out for one of his hands and took it into hers. She was trying to prevent him from doing something rash, like punching the wall. She felt his body release the tension it had been holding and sighed in relief. They were out of the danger-zone for this moment. She would take it.

“That’s fine, Dimka. That’s fine. But let’s talk about this another time, okay? I think we both could use some more sleep.” Byleth yawned as if she was proving a point. She knew that part of it was because she was avoiding a fight that would come if they continued the subject. If they could sleep then the conversation could be pushed off until a later date. That wasn’t healthy considering that she knew the conversation would happen later today. She was being selfish; sleep now, fight later. It seemed like a good idea.

Dimitri snorted. “I’m not going back to sleep, you and I both know that I won’t be able too. If you want to sleep, I can stay with you until you fall asleep but then I’m going to be right back here looking at these files until someone tells me Ingrid is awake or we have to report to work.”

He was being stubborn and Byleth sighed. She knew that what he was saying was true. She could only hope that they would be lucky enough that within the next few hours, someone would tell them that Ingrid was awake so they could go over her steps for the day. They had already done that with Sylvain and Felix to figure out the timeline of events that led to Ingrid’s poisoning. They had come up with another dead end.

“Then let me help you.”

The five words Byleth spoke held so much meaning. Dimitri’s heart swelled as he looked at Byleth, a small smile creeping on his face. He didn’t understand how she could be sitting next time him despite everything he had done to her, especially pulling a gun on her.

_She’s faking it. She doesn’t care. It’s all done out of pity. You’re not worthy of anything, stop thinking you are. God, you make me sick. She’s getting in the way of avenging us. _

Dimitri broke her gaze. Lambert was getting louder with every syllable and his head was starting to hurt. Lambert was right; he wasn’t worthy of anything. He had the one goal – bringing down Edelgard. Nothing mattered but that. But maybe, just maybe, she could help.

_Use her. Use her until the flesh falls from her bones. If you’re going to be a pathetic sap, you might as well get something out of it. Pathetic. _

He took her hands into his and brought it up to his lips, kissing them gently. Dimitri couldn’t formulate the words “thank you” and hoped that his actions would be unspoken. Admitting defeat and accepting help took more out of him than he thought it would. Maybe he would take up her offer on sleeping after all.

* * *

It had taken them four hours to conclude that Slither was in every part of the police department.

Every file, minus the one containing Edelgard, contained a slip up. It was always small and usually was the result of something being photoshopped, whether it be a copy of a police report of a photo from a crime scene. The one that had been the most botched was Dedue’s casefile and they knew they would have to ask Claude about that.

“I give up. I can only hope that talking to Ingrid will offer us something.” Byleth flew her hands into the air, the paper in her hands flying with her.

“Think it will?”

Byleth sighed as she grabbed the papers and shuffled them back into the appropriate order. “No but I hope to Sothis that it will. Maybe if I take a nap I will wake up and find that this has all been nothing short of a dream.”

She knew that closing her eyes wouldn’t do a damn thing. It would make her feel more rested, sure, but she would wake up and face the harsh reality of the world around her. That harsh reality also meant the fact that she and Dimitri were still fighting, even if he was being nice at this moment. Byleth was on edge; she knew that his temperament would change. It was only a matter of time and she thought it was sad that she was bracing herself for it. He seemed to be doing better since their brief talk after he pulled a weapon on her but that was no guarantee.

“I would give anything to go back to fire years ago, before this all happened.”

Dimitri blinked slowly as he looked at her. Had she really said that? What did she mean by that?

“So you regret it, then. You regret us.”

The colour drained from her face. That was not what she had meant but she understood why he had come to that conclusion. The only reason that they had started sleeping together was because of a call they had responded to and it turned out that that call was just one of the many steps involved in this convoluted case.

Did she regret sleeping with Dimitri? No. Did she regret telling him that she loved him? Not in the slightest. Did she regret leaving him? Yes. She regretted how they ended and the circumstances that brought them back together. She regretted that it had taken her so long to come to terms with how she felt. She regretted that she had waited so long to tell him that she loved him, that she had done it because she was leaving. There were so many things about their relationship that she regretted but she never regretted the fact that she loved him.

“That’s not what I said, Dimitri. Please don’t put words into my mouth.” And they were back to fighting, just like she was bracing herself for. “I don’t regret us. I regret how we became to be together and I regret how I waited so long to tell you that I loved you and I regret that I had to leave you and didn’t do a damn thing to tell you about it. _That’s _what I regret. I don’t regret loving you. Please don’t think that I do.”

Her voice was soft, broken, and close to tears. Part of that was fueled by the exhaustion but part of that was fueled by the fact that she was tired of the whiplash. She stood up and stepped away from Dimitri, not paying any attention to the fact that she was stepping on their casefiles. At least they were copies.

“We got together _because _of this case.” Dimitri was grasping at straws, doing everything he could to listen to the voices in his head. _Push her away, keep her away. _

“We didn’t know that it was because of this fucking case, Dimitri!” The tears were starting to spill over and Dimtiri could feel his heart breaking at the sight of this. “Sothis, I am going to get into so much trouble, but I will tell you why you left, why I _had _to leave. I did it for you. I did it for us.” Byleth slumped to the floor, refusing to look at the man in front of her. She didn’t give him a chance to protest before launching into her story.

“You snapped. I don’t really know what caused it but I knew it involved Edelgard. It’s always fucking involved Edelgard because you can’t get over what happened to you guys as kids. I would just like to remind you that the fire was an _accident_ and she didn’t cause it, despite what your trauma wants you to think. But that’s not the point.” The mint haired woman folded her hands together and bit her lip. “And so when you finally told me that you thought that Edelgard was involved with my father’s death, I had enough. I didn’t want to believe you. I refused to believe you.”

Dimitri didn’t blame her for that. The thought had been outlandish in the beginning and he had only confirmed it through evidence within the past few years. She had been dismissive and almost laughed at his claims before trying to rationalize his thought process that night. Even though he wanted to scream at her, he was doing his best to listen to her patiently.

“But things weren’t adding up. Something wasn’t right. I did my own investigation and I brought it to Seteth. I considered bringing to Alois, who was her captain at the time, but I didn’t know if I could trust that. Seteth was impartial and he was close to the Chief, which made it easier. I laid out all the evidence I had, which wasn’t much. I think you’ve come to the same conclusion that it was Edelgard’s personal gun that was left at the scene and the knife is almost _identical _to the one Hubert carries. Seteth believed me. That was a relief.”

“So you’re sayi-”

Byleth held up her finger. “Stop. You don’t get to talk until I’m done. Anyways, for two weeks, he and I spent time solidifying the case.”

Dimitri remembered that. There were times when they had made plans to hang out and she would say that she was busy with work, that she was working with a detective on a case. Looking back on it, he realized it happened almost every other day. It had been a long two weeks but it had allowed him to gather his own information into Edelgard. It had also started his descent into madness.

“But we never had enough. Seteth proposed an idea, one that I fought against for a while. He proposed that I go into countersurveillance. He said that they would pull me off my current assignment, no questions asked and that I would go to Enbarr. It required a lot of hoops to jump through, given the jurisdiction, but they made it work. Seteth told me that for this to work, for this to really work, I needed to cut ties with everyone here. She wouldn’t let me in if she knew I was still seeing you, or that I was hanging out with Sylvain, Felix and Ingrid. She had to believe it. He was right. So he gave me a weeks notice, I spent my time packing, and I kept you away from my apartment.”

Dimitri had brushed that off, too. He had figured it was the stress at work. It was why he had thought a nice dinner with the two of them would be able to get her mind off things. Granted, his ulterior motive had been to confess his love to her and desire for them to be in a relationship, but she had beaten him to that punch.

“And then you planned that dinner and I cried. I went into the bathroom of that restaurant and cried. When we went back to your apartment, you started to speak. I knew what you were going to say and I beat you to it. That was the best night of my life.” She was crying now. “But your timing was _awful_. I wrote you a note that said sorry after you fell asleep and I started my new life.”

It had taken months for her to get back on her feet. It had taken a year before she had become comfortable and that was only because she had met Mercedes, who was in Enbarr for a training exercise. Meeting Mercedes had changed her whole life and almost gave her a meaning. It wasn’t until she had met Dedue a year or so later that she realized she could have some semblance of her own life. It helped but it was no substitute.

“I spent four years with Edelgard and Hubert. It was horrific. It took me a good year to break through her exterior and another year for Hubert to trust me. Even then, they kept me at arms length. It worked well enough because I was able to gather enough that proved corruption. How else are you going to be a Captain at age thirty-one? Not possible. I did things I never thought I would do. I defiled the very badge I swore to defend. Once I had enough, Seteth decided it was time for me to come back. We spent three months trying to get me to return, which lead me to where I am now.”

Dimitri was trying to process the information. Byleth had brushed off his claims against Edelgard but had gone into an investigation herself. She had spent five years working with her to try and bring her down because she knew that if Dimitri brought up anything, they would ignore him and pull up his history and cite false accusations. He had started to develop a habit for his temper flaring, even if it had only been a few weeks of craziness.

“I shouldn’t be telling you a damn thing but you’re driving me insane. You believe me and then you don’t and I can’t fault you for that. How can I fault you when I can’t tell you the truth? But now I’ve told you the trust. I was undercover gathering evidence against your fucking stepsister and didn’t have a choice. So please, for the love of God, just try and believe me. I could get fired for this.”

Byleth shifted on her feet, uncomfortable with the silence. She knew she couldn’t expect Dimitri to respond right away but part of her had hoped that he would. The silence was awkward and deafening It made her sick to her stomach.

“I-” Dimtiri began but stopped. He couldn’t speak. He didn’t know what to say. All he could do was stare at her, a hopeless expression on his face. He was fumbling with his words, something that always happened with Byleth.

“I believe you.”

His soft voice was music to her ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOMP THERE IT ISSSSSSSSSSsss
> 
> it's honestly not that complicated but you know, dimitri is a sad boi(tm). i've hinted at it but i don't think i've ever explicitly stated it so basically, dimitri, byleth and edelgard were super tight in the academy and started going their separate ways a few months after the academy, when edelgard got stationed in enbarr, which is out of the fhirdiad jurisdiction. i imagine that in this world, fodlan is just this giant ass city (like new york) and has three different jurisdictions that make it up.
> 
> things we need: dimitri to finally accept that he can be worthy of love and that byleth loves him.  
things that won't happen: just that. not yet at least. what's life without a little torment? also you know, pstd doesn't just go away because of love. that's really not healthy. (whatever ash it's a story, that's what i try to tell myself).
> 
> i got no comedy snippets this time. i am tired.
> 
> thank you for the comments and kudos. y'all really mean a lot to me. <33


	10. keep holding on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how to survive a state-wide "hunker down" order ala ash style: rewatch how i met your mother. compare the blue lion characters to various characters from how i met your mother. drink vodka and write. play animal crossing. write some more. go to bed. wake up, go to work, repeat. honestly i miss my gym.
> 
> i've been struggling getting more of the characters to fit into the story organically. it's starting to come together!
> 
> song of the chapter:  
simple man (rock version - cover) by shinedown. if you ever wanted a dimitri song and wanted to cry about it, it's this song.

It had been three days since Byleth confessed to him what had happened five years ago and he still wasn’t sure how to process the information.

Shortly after telling him, she had gone back to her apartment. Dimitri wasn’t sure if that was for the best but he had wished to be alone, something Byleth respected and understood. He had texted Seteth and asked for a few days off, telling him that he was feeling under the weather and didn’t want to push himself too hard given the circumstances. Seteth had granted his request and he had spent the past three days doing his best to keep occupied.

Most of the tasks had been trivial, like cleaning his apartment to something that could rival a hospital in cleanliness. One thing he had made a point was to talk to Dedue. The two of them had spent the better part of a day talking about everything that had happened. It left Dimitri feeling immensely better about the situation but his emotions didn’t change overnight. One moment he would be fine, the next he would be frustrated. Dedue had reassured him that was part of the process of accepting his trauma. It still didn’t make it easier.

Byleth had texted him, checking in on him, and he had responded stating that he was feeling under the weather and had likely caught a bug. They both knew that he was lying and keeping his distance but Byleth didn’t address it. Their conversations were minimal, usually revolving around work and the status of Ingrid.

Ingrid still hadn’t woken up. She was out of the medically induced coma and it was now a waiting game, which Mercedes had to remind them every time he stepped into the hospital. Dimitri knew that Sylvain, Felix, Byleth and Claude had been rotating between shifts where they watched her. They all pretended it was under the guise of making sure Slither didn’t come back to finish the job. The truth really was that it gave them something to do while they waited for her to wake up.

With his backpack slung over his shoulder, Dimitri made his way up towards Ingrid’s room. He knew that Sylvain was there and had been there for a couple of hours. Out of all of them, he was the one that was hit the hardest. Ingrid was his partner and his best friend. This rattled him to his core. Dimitri knew Sylvain well enough to know that he would pretend he was okay, would laugh his way through the situation but wouldn’t be able to hold a smile. He also knew that he wasn’t sleeping, despite whatever protest he would give everyone else.

“That’s a sight for sore eyes. Do something different with your hair? We miss your broody self around the precinct,” Sylvain teased once Dimitri stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. Dimitri ran a hand through his hair; he had pulled part of it up because of an off handed comment from Byleth.

“You look like shit, Sylvain. You should go home. I got it.” Dimitri placed his backpack on the spare chair, looking to the redhead. “I’m serious. You guys have been alternating enough and I’m feeling well enough that it’s my turn to keep an eye out. I don’t mind. I brought my laptop so I can work on some paperwork.”

Sylvain cocked an eyebrow as he leaned back in his chair. Despite what he portrayed, he wasn’t stupid. He was aware that something had happened, again, between Dimitri and Byleth within the past few days. In the conversations he had been having with Byleth, she had brushed off his concerns. Given the fact that the blonde was standing in front of him, Sylvain assumed the two of them had reconciled – at least a little bit.

“You never would have come here a few months ago. What gives? Byleth finally get under your skin? Or should I say under your clothes?” Despite his teasing, he was exhausted. It was evident in his voice.

Dimitri rolled his eye. “No. We just had a talk about why she left, that’s all.”

He hadn’t expected on telling Sylvain the truth. He wasn’t going to give him the full truth. Not only would that get Byleth into trouble, it would betray her trust and he couldn’t do that to her. He would leave it at that but he also suspected that the redhead wouldn’t pry. He was good at picking up social ques, even if it meant that he almost got punched in the face. Sylvain knew his limits.

“Well it’s about fucking time!” Sylvain crossed his arms as he looked at the blonde, a serious look on his face. “I’m serious. You’ve been killing her slowly with your indifference. We got used to it. She never did and it’s shaken her to her core. She harbours a lot of guilt over whatever reason she had to leave because she saw what it did to you.” He bit his lip, unsure if he should continue to speak his mind. This wasn’t really the time nor the place but he figured it was better late than never.

“You know you’ve been nothing but a real dick to her, right?”

“I know, Sylvain. Believe me, I am well aware of what I have done to her and know that my actions cannot be forgiven.”

It was part of the reason he had kept his distance. He could not come to grasp with the fact that Byleth still wanted to talk to him and still loved him, despite how horribly he had treated her for the past month or so. He wasn’t worthy of her love and didn’t know how to process that information. Five years ago, he had been stumbling with the right words to confess his love and would have done anything to keep her close. Now he wasn’t sure.

“She’s already forgiven you, though. Have you considered that? You’re throwing a pity party without taking into consideration that she has forgiven you and would walk through hell to make sure that you are happy. I know you’ve said a lot of shit to her but despite that, she’s come crawling back. I’ve spent enough time with her in the past month to know that it _extremely _unhealthy.”

“You and Felix weren’t healthy either.”

“No, we weren’t and we still have our moments. Being a cop and dating a cop isn’t easy, especially being gay. But you know what, Dimitri? We worked through it. We still work on it.”

Dimitri shifted his gaze and focused on the blonde that was sleeping peacefully on the hospital bed. Was she sleeping peacefully? Given that her heartrate wasn’t spiking and her blood pressure seemed to be stable, Dimitri could only hope so. He sat down in the chair next to Ingrid and ran a hand through his hair.

Sylvain stood up. “I’ve known you since we were kids, Dimitri. I know you. I _know _that this is a result of all the unresolved trauma you have and your PSTD. We all know that. Well, maybe not Felix, but that’s Felix.” He was trying to crack a joke. “You need help. Byleth will help you. I will help you. Hell, we know Felix will if I bribe him with sex.” A small smirk. “We are all here for you. The fact that you’re here shows a lot, whether you see it or not. I know you’re working on your own demons but dude, you gotta cut yourself some slack. You’ve always been too hard on yourself.”

That was the understatement of the century. Dimitri was going to protest, tell him that no, he just had a lot of things he had to live up to and the voices in his head were demanding. The worst part was that it sounded crazier in his head.

_Too hard on yourself? Please. You haven’t done a damn thing to help us. You’re weak and you know it. _

“It’s not that simple, Syl.”

“To hell it’s not!” He shifted on his feet before opting to sit down on the edge of Ingrid’s bed. The heartrate monitor beeped, indicating a spike and the two men looked over at her. A small groan escaped her lips but nothing happened. “See? Even Ingrid agrees. Actually, I think she’s quite tired of your sad boy vibe you’ve got going on.” Sylvain rested a gentle hand on Ingrid’s leg, hoping it would cause a reaction. It didn’t.

Dimitri fiddled with his hands as he kept his gaze locked on Ingrid. He couldn’t look the redhead in the eyes. “I’ve done a lot of things that don’t deserve forgiveness. I’ve been nothing but cold and indifferent and have used most of you for my own selfish reasons. I honestly do not understand how you could begin to accept an apology from me.”

_Yeah, you pulled a gun on the supposed love of your life. You’re nothing more than a monster, stop pretending! You’re lying to yourself! Embrace it. Embrace us._

“Start trying to atone for your sins or whatever bullshit way you want to phrase it. Actions speak louder than words, you know that. Apologize and do what you can go get back to the Dimitri we all knew before the world crumbled beneath you. Let’s give Ingrid some good news when she wakes up, okay? She misses you. We all do.”

Sylvain got up from Ingrid’s bed and offered Dimitri a smile. It was the first genuine smile he had given in a few days.

“Besides, I really hope you make it up with Byleth. I am _dying _to know what sex with her is like. My dreams don’t do it justice!” Sylvain knew it would cause a reaction from Dimitri. Even though Sylvain had come out to Dimitri when they were younger, he couldn’t help the flirtatious nature. Most of it was to get a reaction out of people, especially his friend standing in front of him.

Dimitri grabbed the pillow and threw it at Sylvain, who was expecting it and ducked, loud laughter escaping his lips.

“I’m kidding. It’s good to see that reaction out of you. Let me know if anything changes with Ingrid, okay?”

“Get out, Sylvain.”

“Feisty. I like it. Now I know what Byleth sees in you.”

“_Get out, Sylvain.”_

The redhead laughed as he left, leaving Dimitri alone with Ingrid. It also meant that he was alone with his thoughts. Glenn and Lambert were there but they weren’t loud, which surprised him. They were whispering into his ear, telling him that he was worthless and wasting everyone’s time, but they weren’t screaming at him. They hadn’t screamed at him since Byleth had been in his apartment. It was alarming.

Dimitri didn’t want to admit it but Sylvain was right. It had taken three days to come to terms with what he had to do. He had to apologize and he had to prove his actions. Could it be as simple as Sylvain suggested? He had no idea but he had to try. He reached for his phone and penned out at text to Byleth, his heart racing. The first step was the hardest. He could only hope that she would accept his invitation.

* * *

“You look well. I would have thought this cold weather would have left you bitter.”

“Ah, you forget that I was raised here.” Byleth took a sip of her coffee as she studied the woman in front of her. Edelgard hadn’t changed a bit. She was wearing her captains’ uniform and holding herself with a composure Byleth wasn’t sure was possible in someone her age. Her stare was unnerving. Edelgard was always evaluating her. “It’s not ideal but it’s adaptable.”

Edelgard nodded in agreement, absent-mindly stirring her tea. The sugar had dissolved long ago but it kept her hands busy. She would never admit that she was apprehensive about meeting her former employee. Even Hubert had warned her that it wasn’t a good idea, given the location she wound up in. Could she still trust her? There was only one way to find out.

“How is it being back then? I take it hasn’t been easy working with Dimitri, given your history in the academy.” Edelgard, like everyone else in their class, hadn’t been blind to the fact that the two were hopelessly in love with each other. It was another reason she kept her at arms lengths when she had come to her precinct with a story that seemed to good to be true.

A faint blushed crept up on Byleth’s cheeks. “I didn’t realize we were so obvious. Rest assured, my feelings for him are in the past. I won’t lie and say that it’s horrible seeing everyone, though. We shared the same bond that you and I did going through the academy. You can’t change that.” Lie. It was all a lie. She was sick just thinking about the lie but Edelgard had to believe her.

Their “friendship,” if one could call it that, had been fractured when Seteth started pulling the strings to have her back in Fhirdiad. It had been a simple enough request; they were down one man and needed someone who could handle the temperament of Dimitri. Edelgard had fought like hell to keep Byleth on but she was overruled by the brass. It had left her more bitter than before.

“No, I suppose you can’t. Tell me, does he still fumble over his words or did he gain confidence?”

_Heh, the little you know_, Byleth thought to herself. How was she supposed to answer these questions without giving herself away? Edelgard was intelligent and perceptive; she could pick up on the smallest nuisances of a person. It was one of the few reasons that made her a good police officer. Byleth took a sip of her coffee before responding.

“Gained enough confidence to get to where he’s at now. I imagine you’re still blurring him together with the boy you knew when you were younger, El.” She was teasing but it was enough to make Edelgard’s nostrils flare. She had a hard time accepting the fact that they were still step siblings and they shared a history. It was also a way to get her to drop the topic of Dimitri.

“I guess you’re right,” Edelgard replied, her tone hard. It was a clever trick that Byleth used against her. She didn’t want to dwell on the fact that Byleth tended to dodge questions about her former love. Edelgard had chalked it up to protecting her and honouring her desire to not talk about her childhood. Hubert called it something else. Hubert had always the more cynical one, especially when it came to Byleth.

“Enough about me; I know you asked me to see you for a reason. I take it you’re not here by chance?” They had hung out often outside of work. The situation was different. It wasn’t hanging out for friendship, at least most of the time, but for business. It was always about business. Byleth was convinced that Edelgard only had her and Hubert as her “friends” and she was iffy if Edelgard considered her a friend, despite her reassuring her that she did.

Edelgard shook her head. No, she wasn’t here by chance. She was here for a training session between captains and was going to use it as an opportunity to see how she was doing under Seteth’s care. It still bothered her that he had managed to get her under his wing. Edelgard didn’t trust it but she knew there was nothing she could do about it at this moment. She would have to wait her time, like she always did. She also knew it wouldn’t be long before Seteth was no longer in charge. The thought almost brought a smile to her lips. No, she had to be careful.

“Alois is conducting a training exercise between various captains throughout Fodlan. Not only will it look good for a promotional stand point but it allows me to see how the other captains are faring in their sections and what I can do to improve.”

_Or how to eliminate them, _Byleth thought. She knew that was the real reason. It would also explain why Hubert was in the back of the coffee house, making no attempts to hide the fact that he was keeping a careful eye on Edelgard.

“Plus I figured I would use the chance to see you and check in. I imagine the move has been stressful. I heard what happened to Detective Galatea. Has she come out of her coma yet?” Edelgard was fishing for information. She could use the systems in figure out the information herself but that risked raising ethical questions she didn’t want to answer to. It also gave her a chance to study the woman in front of her.

“No, but they’re expecting a full recovery when she wakes up. It’s merely just a matter of when at this point.” Byleth was giving more information than she was willing to share but she knew that Edelgard would dig deeper if she wanted to. At least Byleth could control the information flow towards the captain.

Edelgard murmured in agreement as she studied the mug in front of her. She could hear Hubert chiding her in her ear, telling her to get to the point and to stop wasting her time with pleasantries. He might have enjoyed Byleth’s presence but barely trusted her. The only reason he considered her a “friend” (and that was putting it loosely, it was a friend based off his terms) was because Edelgard trusted her.

“Alright, let’s cut the shit, El. I would love the chance to catch up but I know you. You would have asked more questions if that was your real reason for asking me to meet you. Plus, you wouldn’t have brought Hubert if this was a girls date.” Byleth didn’t need to see Hubert to know that he was glaring daggers at her.

A small smile formed on Edelgard’s lips. “Always wanting to jump to the chase, huh?” She paused, focusing back on the spoon in her tea. “You could always see through me. Care to help out an old friend?”

Byleth’s stomach dropped. Until Edelgard was off the force and facing the consequences of her actions, Byleth knew she would have to do whatever she asked. It would look suspicious if she didn’t. The only advantage was that Byleth could take this information back to Seteth. He was the first person she had talked to after Edelgard texted her asking to meet up.

“I’m insulted that you’re asking the question. What do you need help with?” Byleth was impressed with her tone even though she was screaming on the inside. What would Edelgard ask? They had gone through various things back in Enbarr where most of it involved blackmail against officials. There were a lot of threats, the occasional fight, and a handful of situations where evidence had been mishandled but nothing truly egregious. Byleth hadn’t committed murder at the request of Edelgard but that could change

Edelgard pulled out a packet and slid it across the table where Byleth took it and placed it into her purse. “There was a mix up with some evidence in your precinct. It would be a shame if we arrested someone who was falsely accused, would it not?” Edelgard knew to never say what she wanted outright. She trusted Byleth; she didn’t trust the world around her.

Byleth’s phone buzzed. It was the first time she was thankful to be interrupted by a text. She shot Edelgard an apologetic look as she pulled it out. It took all her willpower to hide the shock that would be on her face. She had expected a text from Dimitri, yes, but she hadn’t been expecting him to engaging in a conversation.

_Care to join me for dinner tonight? I’d like to see you._

She blinked and recollected herself.

“Sorry, wrong number.” As if Edelgard would believe that. “But it would be shame if the person was falsely arrested. A true travesty of justice. I’ll be sure to look into it.” She could feel the bile in her throat. Byleth needed to get out of here fast. “Anything else?”

Edelgard shrugged. She was lingering, wanting to continue her conversation with Byleth. The guts of the conversation had been established, now was the time to catch up. Edelgard felt her phone buzz in her pocket. That was her signal to go; Hubert was growing impatient. She pushed her mug away from her and stood up.

“We really should hang out more. I do miss having you around.” Hubert had materialized beside her and gave a nod to Byleth in acknowledgement. She gave him a tiny wave in return. _That relationship needs to be mended_, Edelgard thought to herself.

“You know where to reach me. I know you’re busy but I’m around.” _Please don’t reach out to me. Please don’t reach out to me. Please don’t reach out to me. _

Edelgard didn’t say anything but gave Byleth a smile as she left, Hubert right next to her. Byleth let out a huge sigh of relief once she saw the two of them leave. After a moment, once she was sure that Edelgard was gone and she confirmed that she hadn’t bugged her coffee table, Byleth reached for her phone.

“Hey, sorry, I would text but I’m driving so it’s easier.” She was lying all over the place. She was still sitting in the booth, unsure if she could stand up. Byleth knew that if she stood up she would hurl her lunch over the floor.

_“No worries. Should you really be talking and driving, though?”_

Dimitri was teasing. It brought a soft smile to her face. She was starting to feel less queasy just from the sound of his voice. She knew it was pathetic. Byleth didn’t care. She was glad that he was answering her call.

“It’s shocking how much talking on the phone while I’m driving makes me aware of my surroundings. But that’s not why I’m calling. I got your text. When and where?” Byleth didn’t mention that she would have to see Seteth first. She didn’t want to bring up the events that had just transpired in the slightest given their most recent conversation.

_“Six, my place? I was thinking take out.”_

Six p.m. Byleth checked the clock on her phone. Good, that gave her enough time to report to Seteth and give him a brief overview of what happened and get ready. She felt like a teenager again with how she wanted to get semi dressed up to see her crush.

“That sounds great. You order it, tell me where and I’ll pick it up?”

The conversation was reminiscent of their time together five years ago. It scared her how calm she felt. Her emotions when it came to Dimitri scared her. They had always scared her but there was something more to it. These were the feelings she had been brushing off for the past five years. These were the ones that she pretended didn’t exist. Things had changed, perhaps for the better, since she had come back.

_“Sounds like a date. I’ll see you then.”_

A date. He had said it sounded like a date. The smile grew on Byleth's face. Maybe today wouldn't be so terrible after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> considering developing a side story that would just be a series of oneshots set in this world. thoughts?? i need fluff man. i need it. (i say as i would write angst).
> 
> thank you for your comments and kudos! they really do mean a lot. <3


	11. shadows and regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay! i got hit with being sick, moving and writer's block. i knew what i wanted this chapter to entail but it just was not happening. i wrote about half of the chapter, deleted it, started over and deleted it again before i became content with the chapter. also i've never played zelda before??? so i'm hooked on the game. what's productivity? don't know her.
> 
> also i got my blue lions shirt and sweatshirt that was on once upon a tee. this shit is dope.

“I want to apologize,” where the first words that Byleth heard as she stepped into Dimitri’s apartment and he shut the door behind her.

Byleth held up a finger with her free hand. She had just walked through and wanted to put the food down before whatever conversation they were about to have. She would have preferred to have food in their stomach before their conversation but she also knew that it couldn’t wait. If they ate first, it would be in awkward silence and stolen glances.

She put the food down on the counter and pulled Dimitri’s food out of the bag and handed it to him before pulling out her own. Once the food was on the breakfast isle, she looked up to the blonde. Dimitri was nervous; Byleth could see it in his eye. So was she.

“Apologize for what?”

As far as Byleth was concerned, the only person who needed to apologize was her. She was the one that had abandoned him. He was cold and indifferent for a reason. He had already apologized for pulling a gun on her and that wound would take some time to heal. It got better every day. So no, she didn’t see any reason for Dimitri to apologize expect for the occasional callous tone.

“How horribly I’ve treated you, how I’ve treated everyone, really,” Dimitri said as he scratched the back of his head and sat down on the stool. He didn’t touch his food. “My actions have been abhorrent and questionable at best. I should have believed you countless of times but I didn’t. I understand why you had to leave.”

“Do you?” Byleth’s voice was curt. Yes, she believed him but she wanted to make sure that he believed it himself. He could sing it to the Goddess above that he understood but wouldn’t fully grasp it.

“It took some time, and if I’m being honest I talked about it with Dedue, but yes, I do. I’ve spent so long blaming you for something that you had no control over. You did it for me and that… that was the hardest thing to come to terms with.” Dimitri opened the food container and stabbed the rice with his fork, making no motion to eat.

He looked to Byleth, who was engrossed in her food. It brought a small smile to his face that instantly disappeared as he thought about what he was going to say next.

“I’ve been haunted by them for a long time. They’re probably going to be with me for the rest of my life.”

“Your father and Glenn?” Dimitri stared at her and she shrugged. “You’re not slick in hiding your dialogue with them. I know you’ve been having them for a long time but I don’t remember them being as bad when we first me. It got worse after my father died. You talk a lot in your sleep and you’re able to have a full conversation if someone asks you questions.” Byleth pursed her lips. “Sorry, that was rather manipulative of me but it was the only way I could confirm it and you would talk about it.”

Dimitri shrugged. “I would have done the same thing. It’s alright.” He stabbed the rice again. It was easier to focus on that instead of eating. It didn’t matter considering how he couldn’t taste it anyways. “I tried to seek help with a therapist but it would work for a little bit and then it wouldn’t. Medications didn’t help so I just rode it and they’re…. loud. Aggressive. Mean. Violent. That’s putting it lightly.”

When Byleth didn’t respond, he continued. “I spent five years listening to them and believing their every word. I thought that I could appease the dead and get them to be quiet once and for all. Edelgard serves a good scapegoat.”

“But she’s not a scapegoat, Dimitri.” Her voice was muffled as it was full of food. She swallowed her food and turned to her drink. “She wasn’t involved in the causing the fire when you were kids but she’s involved in something within the police department.”

“That’s part of why it’s hard to come to terms with this. I didn’t tell you because you thought the world of Edelgard. We were all pretty close but you were always closer to her. You were _best friends_. And when I hinted at it you dismissed it. But you believed me. You believed me and I… and I…” Dimitri looked down at counter. “I haven’t had anyone believe in me in a long time.”

Byleth opened her mouth to protest but thought against it. She didn’t need to reassure him that she had always believed in him. It didn’t matter what it was. She might have dismissed his accusations of Edelgard in the beginning but she knew that he wouldn’t be concerned out of jealously. Byleth decided to keep eating and stay silent, letting him speak instead.

“I really don’t know where to begin my apology. Everything I say sounds like an excuse. How can I begin to atone for what I’ve done when I can’t find the right words to express it?” He was thinking out loud.

“Do you love me?”

Dimitri quirked his eyebrow up. Why was she asking that question? Surely she knew the answer? No, she probably questioned it. Dimitri didn’t blame her for that.

“With every fiber of my being.”

He didn’t hesitate. His trust was still fractured but his trust was fractured with the world. Dimitri was going to work on believing what Byleth said, no matter what the companions in his head were screaming at him. He had followed her around like a lost puppy, hanging onto her every word, five years before. He could do it again.

“Then that’s enough for me. It’s going to take time to heal from our wounds but that’s all we can do. We can take our wounds and mend them together. I’ll be with you every step of the way. I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

Byleth went back to her food, watching the blonde out of her corner of her eye. He looked so shell shocked and she wasn’t sure how to process it. The more she thought about it the more she realized that all she could do was have her actions speak louder than words and take care of herself first. Now it was a matter of making sure Dimitri did the same thing.

“Actions speak louder than words. I thoroughly believe your words but in order for us to both heal and be healthy together, those actions need to be consistent. That goes for me too. You know I’m more of a physical person anyways.”

Her comment caused Dimitri to blush and look away. It had been a long time since he had been intimate with someone and Byleth’s words didn’t help. He cleared his throat to dismiss the thought of her naked.

“I still feel like it’s not enough.”

“That’s because you’re expecting it to change instantly and it won’t. It takes some time. What matters is that you’re going to try and you’re not going to be pushing away everyone who has tried to help you. That includes our friends. Don’t be impatient.”

Dimitri huffed a laugh in response. She was right; he was expecting it to change overnight when it would take a while. He finally took a bite of his food, feeling like he could eat again even though it tasted like nothing. The hard part of the conversation was over. Glenn and Lambert were sneering at him but they weren’t loud and controlling.

They finished their food in silence. Byleth was struggling; she wanted to tell Dimitri she met with Edelgard but was unsure how he would react. He still reacted quite violently to anything involving her and shocking news. It would also compromise the integrity of the investigation yet didn’t he deserve to know? No, she would have to wait until Seteth gave her the all clear.

Their silence was comfortable. It reminded Byleth of the time before she left, when they would lie in bed after having sex and be entangled up in each other, saying nothing and listening to the sound of each other breathing. It brought her a lot of comfort to know that despite their fractured state she still had a sense of security. She hoped that Dimitri felt the same way.

Still, something was nagging at her. Pushing her food out of her grasp, she broke the silence.

“I have a request.”

“Anything.”

Byleth paused, unsure of where to go with her words. It was a big ask but she also believed, perhaps foolishly, that it would be a step in the right direction to rebuilding their trust.

“I want to see your eye.”

Part of it was a morbid curiosity of if he was missing an eye or it was just heavily scared and left him blind. The main reason was because she wanted their trust back and it was the only thing she could think of that would help start to bridge that gap. Deep down, she believed that it only added to his beauty, something she knew he would scoff at.

Dimitri blanched at her request. The only person who had seen him without the eyepatch was his doctor It had been over six months but the wound and the memory were raw. He was about to ask why she wanted to see it but figured it was better not to know the answer. If they were going to be together, whenever that was, she would see him without his eyepatch. It was better to bite the bullet now.

_She wants to see how ugly you are._

_Go on, show her your true ugly self. _

With a heavy sigh, Dimitri removed the eyepatch and placed it on the table. He felt exposed. He looked away from her piercing gaze and down at the counter, only to feel her hands cup his face so she could look at him. He watched her as she titled her head to the side and one of her hands went to his cheek. On instinct, his hand went to her wrist to pull her away from touching the scars. Dimitri’s heart was thundering in his chest. As soon as his hand wrapped around hers, his touch went limp. No, this was for the best.

Byleth ran her thumb under his eye, taking it in. There was a total of four scars sliced at a forty-five degree angle from his eyebrow to barely underneath his lower lash line. It looked like a bear mauling instead of a knife fight. His blue eye was unfocused, milky and unmoving. The scars were still red and healing. She pulled away, not wanting to linger longer than necessarily. She knew this was a struggle for him.

“Can you see out of it or are you completely blind?”

“I can see a little bit.” Dimitri fiddled with his thumbs. “It’s all fuzzy and hurts my head. The doctor thinks I’ll be completely blind in the eye within a year.” His head was starting to hurt from his mind trying to right the wrong of his vision.

Byleth nodded. “Thank you.”

Dimitri gave her a slight nod as he grabbed the eye-patch and put it back on. It took every ounce of self control to remain seated and silent and to not scream at her to leave. Once his good eye had readjusted and the headache started to subside, he took one of Byleth’s hands into his. The urge to scream profanities and push her away was dwindling with her touch.

“I really love you.”

“I love you, too.” She smiled, leaned in and kissed his forehead. “I know I got here like an hour ago but I wanted to check on Ingrid. Come with me?” Getting out his apartment had an ulterior motive; she wasn’t ready to talk about what they were. That would come after the case, when she had to stop living two lives. How could she give Dimitri all of her when she was pretending they weren’t friends to another?

“Sure, let me grab my coat.”

* * *

_Please, oh Goddess please, can anyone hear me?_

Ingrid could hear everyone speaking around her. She heard when someone opened the door and shuffled around. She heard Sylvain tell her stories about his day, Felix about some new boxing program he was working on, Ashe reading a book to her and Annette humming a song under her breath. She heard Mercedes soft voice that seemed to be bursting with happiness at the fact that Dedue was back and she listened to Byleth as she confessed everything about her situation with Dimitri to her. Ingrid heard it all.

Why was it so hard to wake up?

She tried to open her eyes, to twitch her fingers or toes, _anything_ to no prevail. Her friends and co-workers thought she was in a coma and would wake up eventually but they didn’t understand that she was awake. The Goddess was a cruel mistress.

Since nobody could hear her, Ingrid went over the night at the bar repeatedly. She was determined to give them an answer as to what had happened when she woke up. At first, there had been nothing. It had been another run of the mill day. Ingrid woke up, showered, went to work, worked on cases with Sylvain, mediated between her partner and the rest of the world due to his flirtatious nature, discussed a new book with Ashe and had gone to the bar after with everyone else upon seeing that Dedue was alive. Despite the dead man not being dead, it had been a normal day. She had brought her food from home which meant that her lunch and dinner were out of the question to contain arsenic.

Was it her coffee? No, she had made a whole pot at the precinct for everyone and nobody else was in a coma. It could have been the espresso she bought later but she had been fine two hours later. The culprit was the bar. Her drink had been spiked, that was the only logical conclusion. The bartender had been Dorothea, someone she knew and trusted. Then again, that didn’t mean anything. No, Ingrid decided to believe in her friend.

The image of a man with black hair came to her mind. The person was in the back corner, his back to the wall, watching the patrons in the bar. Ingrid had seen him when they sat down at her booth. She had done a double take upon seeing him because he looked familiar but shrugged it off once everyone started talking and was clamouring for information. The man was the only thing that stood out to her. He looked so familiar.

_Think, Ingrid. Think. You know that person. _

Where had she seen that person? Was she sure she knew him?

Ingrid could hear her heart monitor racing as the pieces of the puzzle fit together. She could hear Dimitri and Byleth talking, concern in their voice. She had been lost in her thoughts that she didn’t realize that there had been a shift change.

“Hey By? I think her hand moved.”

_Yes! _

Ingrid’s eyes jolted open and she gasped for breath. Byleth and Dimitri were at her side as she woke up, her eyes darting back and forth. Ingrid took a few minutes to remind herself that she was in the hospital and that someone had tried to kill her. The heart rate monitor slowed down, as did her breathing, as she realized she was safe.

“Dimitri, go get the nurse.”

“No!”

Her voice was hoarse but thank the Goddess, she was awake. Ingrid shifted on the bed and tried to sit up, overcome with fatigue. The blonde detective had been out longer than she thought she had.

“It’s okay, Ingrid. It’s just Byleth and I. You’re safe.”

Ingrid believed that. She could see the guns on their hips and knew that Byleth had at least two more concealed on her person. The thought was comforting and almost laughable. She used to tease Byleth for being so paranoid but now she understood. There was not a chance in hell that Ingrid was leaving her apartment without two pieces on her person at all times now.

“Shit, I can’t remember his last name. Hubert. Edelgard’s pet. He was at the bar.”

Byleth’s blood ran cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> meanwhile in his apartment, sylvain woke up because he /knew/ that ingrid was awake and could hear her chiding him for flirting with the coffee lady that morning to get a free coffee. felix says he's insane.


	12. wreckage of my life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo i've had this chapter done for awhile but i wasn't ready to post it for some time and then eventually one month turned into two and so forth. and i sort of realized that i need to put this on hiatus after this chapter. i have every intention of finishing the story! it's just at this moment i find it to be a burden and i'm coming into a lot of writers block so i want to take a step back, focus on other projects, and update this when i'm feeling ready to and it's not lingering over my head. 
> 
> there's some semi soft (hehe) smut in here.

Aim. Shoot. Repeat.

The smell of gunpowder permeated the air. Her vision was clouded by the residual smoke from the gun and her hearing was muffled by the earmuffs, but she could make out the distinct pop, pop, pop of the person next to her shooting down range. The gun range was supposed to be comforting so why wasn’t it working?

Scowling, Byleth pressed the button and the target jolted forward. One headshot, one to the upper left chest, one to the right arm and nine misses. The scowl deepened as she ripped it off the hook, replaced the target, and pressed down on the button with such force she might have broken it.

_Pop. Pop. Pop._

Byleth closed her eyes after the third shot. The metal of the gun was warm against her skin. If she wasn’t careful and slowed down, she would be dealing with the recoil and have a nasty bruise. The thought made her snort with laughter. Having a bruise meant she could feel something, which she was currently lacking in the moment.

_Pop. Pop._

She couldn’t hear the bullet hitting the paper, but then again, she couldn’t hear much. Byleth found herself getting more and more frustrated with each time she cocked the gun and pulled the trigger. Normally she had the patience of a saint and incredible accuracy. She had scored one of the highest for shooting with a glock in the academy. Now she was a fumbling mess who was lucky to get a shot at the target.

_You need to breathe, kid. Breathe, close your eyes and try to take all the extra shit out of your mind. You got this. _Her father’s words were enough to cause her to catch her breathe and thing. Was she calm? No. She was bouncing her knee on her left heel, one of her many tells. Byleth closed her eyes again, cocked her gun, and fired.

Shooting the gun was easier. The tightness in her chest loosened, her head felt clearer, and she felt like she could focus. It was a deep breath in and a deep breath out. Byleth finished off the rest of her clip and hit the button again to bring the target forward.

Seven misses, five hits.

“Fuck!”

Before the tears of frustration could spill over, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. The smell of cedarwood gave him away. She took another deep breath, put her gun on the table and pulled off one of her ear muffs as she turned to face him.

“Figured I would probably find you here.”

“It’s not that hard to figure out,” she replied harshly. The hurt was obvious in Dimitri’s eye when she processed her tone. “Sorry, I’m still a little wound up.”

It had only been twenty-four hours or so since Ingrid had woken up and she still felt like she had been hit with a car. After Ingrid had pointed to Hubert, she and Dimitri had gone over the night with Ingrid and took notes. Once they had exhausted her memory, they had gone to Seteth with their new information.

Byleth had gone over everything, including her meeting with Edelgard. She had watched Dimitri carefully and noticed how his hands had tightened around his notebook when she recounted her story. He still didn’t snap. If anything, he calmed down after a few moments and went back to engaging in the conversation over their next plan of action. The darkness that she had expected to see in his facial expressions was missing in action.

It was the tip of the iceberg that sent her over the edge. He was doing his best to keep to his promise and his apology and Byleth didn’t know what to do with that information. Between Edelgard, Hubert, the stress of the job and Dimitri on top of it, she had snapped like a rubber band. After their conversation with their caption, she muttered goodbye and made her way back to her apartment and ignored the world around her for a couple of hours.

The shooting range was supposed to be a stress reliever. It allowed her to go numb and not to think. Byleth had considered herself to be a good enough shot that it didn’t matter how stressed she was, she could always hit her target. That wasn’t happening today which fueled her emotions. This was becoming a lot to process.

“Have you eaten?”

“No.” The idea of food made her sick. She knew that she needed to eat and would feel better if she did but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Byleth sighed and turned her attention back to the target. “I can’t even hit a fucking target.”

Dimitri grabbed one of her hands and held onto it gently. The touch soothed her anxiety enough that she felt like she could breathe again (_when did I forget to breathe?)_. Turning her attention back towards Dimitri, she opened her mouth to say something but slammed it shut. Finding the right words were hard.

“Let’s go back to your apartment. We can chat,” without any restrictions and worries that someone was going to overhear our conversation was implied, "or we can just watch TV or play a game or some shit. We will get food, too. That will help.”

It wasn’t a suggestion.

Byleth knew that it was for the best. She didn’t want it to be and wanted to curl up in a hole and die but she knew what had to be done. Nodding, she broke his grasp and reloaded her gun before putting it back in her holster. She grabbed her badge and clipped it to her belt buckle and put the ear muffs down. She grabbed the case to her clock, shut it, and turned her attention back towards the blonde.

“Can you drive?”

Her focus was wavering and the idea of getting behind a wheel made her uncomfortable. She was sure she would jerk the steering wheel into oncoming traffic. The trauma of a car crash would be less painful than what she was dealing with now.

“Yeah, of course.”

Byleth was aware that Dimitri was speaking but wasn’t sure what he was saying. All she could see was that his lips were moving. She was emotionless, barely nodding along. She knew that he was concerned about her and had every right to be but what was she supposed to say? “Hey sorry, really struggling with Hubert and the fact that he might have tried to kill Ingrid?” No, that was a given.

The car ride was silent. A huge advantage was that the ride to her apartment from the gun range wasn’t more than fifteen minutes in awful traffic. She noticed that Dimitri was speaking to her, again, and she was saying nothing. Instead she lead them into her apartment in silence and it was only after she made sure the doors and windows were locked did she speak.

“I have no idea what you’ve been telling me, sorry. I didn’t feel safe speaking outside of a place I could trust and well, I wasn’t sure what to say.”

Dimitri shrugged out of his shoes and took off his jacket. He was in the process of removing his gun from his holster when Byleth spoke to him. He turned to her after placing the gun in the drawer by the doors entrance. He outstretched his hand.

“Give me your gun.”

Byleth complied. She felt safer knowing that Dimitri was with her and that both of their guns were loaded and ready to fire. She had checked her apartment for bugs or any sing of compromise when she had gotten back the first time. Being with Dimitri was safe, so why did she feel so shaken? This information shouldn’t have alarmed her.

A running joke she had told herself was that she was lucky that Edelgard and Hubert didn’t ask her to murder anyone. She didn’t believe Edelgard had it in her; Hubert was another story. Hubert made her skin crawl and she constantly wondered how he passed the psychological exam (_psychopaths get hired onto the force all the time). _Now Byleth was faced with the reality that murder, or attempted murder, was on the table.

It scared the living hell out of her.

Dimitri grabbed her hands and led her to the couch. Out of reflex, she curled up next to him and rested her head in the crook of his neck. He was running a hand through her hair in a pathetic attempt to soothe her. She still felt agitated.

“We have enough evidence to reasonably believe it’s Hubert?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me again.”

“Ingrid’s eyewitness testimony is one. It might be shaky in court but we don’t have enough to convict at the moment anyways. We have your statement that Edelgard asked you to mishandle evidence, which was a case that Ingrid and Sylvain were working. The perp of that case is a suspected gang member with ties to Slither and reports a tall, emo looking man, as the one wbh asked him to commit the assault.”

Byleth sighed. Dimitri and Seteth had gone over the evidence with her a handful of times. She wouldn’t be reacting so violently if she didn’t believe that it was Hubert. She barely liked him and knew it affected her because all bets were off the table. It also meant that Edelgard was lying to some extent. What was to be seen was whether she believed Hubert’s side of the story.

“I know you’ve never liked Hubert, so what makes you so nervous?”

Nervous. That was a good way to describe it.

At first Byleth thought it was because she was mad that someone she knew tried to kill one of her friends but as the time passed she realized that wasn’t the case. She wasn’t sad because Hubert hadn’t ben much of a friend to begin with and Edelgard would be aware enough of what was going on with her personal assistant to claim plausible deniability. She was nervous because it meant that everything was fair game and it was unlikely that they would all come out unscathed.

“All bets are off, I guess. I’ve done a _lot _of shitty things against the badge at the request of Edelgard,” she didn’t miss how his hand stopped twirling her hair when she mentioned his step sisters name, “but I never guess I imagined that attempted murder would be one of them.”

Dimitri wasn’t sure what to say. This was his worst fear come to life – Glenn and Lambert were right. That terrified him. It was almost a valid reason to give into the voices in his head. How could he tell Byleth that he wasn’t shocked? He especially wasn’t surprised that Hubert was the one doing the dirty work. He had met him a few times and that was enough for Dimitri to know the man made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and his skin crawl.

He couldn’t voice these thoughts to Byleth. It wasn’t fair. Dimitri was working on his promise to be more mindful, to be nicer, and ranting and raving about his family and their friends wouldn’t do that. He exhaled through his nose in an effort to hold his sigh and resumed playing with her hair.

_We are so close._

“What can I do to help?” It was the only thing Dimitri could offer. Byleth helped him with his overwhelming emotions and mood swings; now it was time for him to help her.

She titled her head to look up at him. Dimitri wasn’t sure what he expected because the next thing he knew, Byleth was straddling him and kissing him _hard. _She nipped at his bottom lip, begging for an entrance that he granted. His tongue grazed her bottom lip before colliding with her tongue and Dimitri’s grip around her tightened.

Dimitri shifted underneath her. She was grinding against him and he could feel himself growing hard. It wouldn’t be too long before he was standing at attention, with no willpower like he was a teenager again. Byleth smiled against his lips as she continued to grind against his lap with careful deliberation. Her heart was pounding in her chest as Dimitri broke their kiss.

Byleth didn’t have time to protest as his lips went to her collarbone, nipping and sucking to the point she was sure he would leave a mark. Just the thought of being bruised by Dimitri made her squirm and wet. She moved her hands to underneath his shirt, roaming his skin. There were more scars than she remembered but that didn’t matter. He was still beautiful to her.

The bitter taste of copper hit Dimitri’s tongue and Byleth moaned. It was music to his ears. He was hard as a rock and her hands were sliding down his chest to the waistband of his jeans. She paused, Dimitri whined, and she slipped her hands into his pants and gently wrapped her fingers around her cock.

Her touch was enough to get Dimitri to snap to his senses. He pushed her off and stood up, doing his best not to focus on the fact that she looked so sexy with messed up hair and swollen lips. Dimitri wanted nothing more than to tear her jeans off, push her underwear to the side and taste her.

“Dimitri? Did I do something wrong?”

_She wants you as a distraction. _Dimitri hated that he agreed with that sentiment from Glenn. He cleared his throat, tired to forgive himself, and looked at her directly in the eyes. She was confused.

“Not at all.” His jeans were still uncomfortably tight but he felt his erection growing soft. “I want nothing more than to take you on this couch and have you scream my name while I fuck you.” He didn’t need the visual. Dimitri rocked on the heels of his feet in effort to clear his mind. “But you want a distraction and I don’t want to be that.”

Dimitri’s words were like cold water being thrown in her face. She hated that he was right. Byleth wanted to go numb and having sex was a good way to do that. She shifted in her seat uncomfortably, trying to ignore the fact that she was dripping wet.

“Fuck,” she muttered as she leaned back in the couch. Byleth was mad at herself; Dimitri was worth more than that to her. As much as she hated to admit it, the need to forget was overwhelming. “You can sit back down. I’m not going to jump you, I promise.”

Dimitri didn’t move. He wanted to sit down next to her but wasn’t sure if he fully believed her. He eyed her carefully and eventually sat down. She made no move to get close to him and he let out a sigh. Why did their relationship have to be so complicated and messy?

_You made it that way, child._

“Do you want me to go?” Dimitri asked after minutes of silence.

“No.”

Byleth took one of his hands into her hers and smiled softly. “I really am sorry. We haven’t even talked about us and I don’t know about you but I’m not ready to do that. And I know how you feel about sex. That wasn’t fair to you.”

The dilemma that Dimitri was facing was that he didn’t mind it. He would let her use him until she saw fit and would come crawling back when she wanted more yet she was right. It wasn’t that he was against sex; he enjoyed every aspect of it. For Dimitri, it was important to have an emotional connection and a stable one at that before engaging in sex. He had a connection with Byleth but it wasn’t stable at the moment.

“I accept your apology.” He kissed her forehead. “After this case we can talk about us, if you’re ready and I’m ready but right now we have a lot to focus on.” It was an excellent change in topic. “Do you want to go over the case again?”

Byleth scoffed. She hated that Dimitri knew her so well that the answer was yes, of course she wanted to go over the case. It wouldn’t do than any good and probably give them headaches but it was better than sitting around doing nothing.

“I hate how well you know me.”

“You love me.”

“Yeah, I do, now give me the case file.”

* * *

While everyone in the precinct was aware of what happened to Ingrid, the suspicion of Hubert was kept close to Dimitri, Byleth, Seteth and Dedue. Thy trusted the others not to share the information but were aware that their social interactions, even slight, might give it away. It was better to be safe than sorry. Felix didn’t miss the way that Dimitri gripped his casefile hard enough that it would be crinkled and Byleth, who had been standing next to him looking at something over his shoulder, rested her hand on top of her glock when the doors opened to the elevator.

The air felt ten degrees colder as Edelgard stepped in, Hubert following close behind. Felix’s eyes narrowed at the captain and her personal assistant. This wasn’t going to be good. He nudged Sylvain and the redhead turned his attention from his computer to the Captain, his brows furrowing. It made his skin crawl knowing that Edelgard was here, unprovoked, but he couldn’t do anything but watch.

“Dimitri, Byleth,” Edelgard greeted the couple as they stepped forward. It had been years since she talked to her estranged step brother and Edelgard preferred to keep it that. They struggled to reconnect as adults and when he had cut off contact some five years ago, she was hurt but welcomed it. It was easier. Dimitri was too ethically questionable for her standards.

“What brings you here, El?” Dimitri asked, his tone neutral. He didn’t like how Hubert was staring him down. It was like looking into a cold abyss.

“I needed to discuss something with your Caption and figured I would stop by and say hello. I haven’t had a chance to see Byleth since I was in town.” That was a lie and everyone knew it. Byleth’s face remained emotionless. “I also figured I could say hello to you as well, see how you were fairing. I heard about your accident a few months ago.”

She was poking at an old wound. Dimitri fought the urge to scowl at her as he leaned back in his chair, feeling safer with Byleth next to him.

“I’m doing well, thanks for asking.” Dimitri left no room for continued conversation. He turned his attention back to his computer and Byleth shifted on the balls of her feet. It was a telltale sign that she was uncomfortable.

“I’ll walk you to the Captain’s office. I think he’s free,” Byleth quickly interjected before the tension became thick and she gave herself away.

“Thank you.”

Byleth knew that Seteth was available but she wanted to delay whatever was about to happen. She wanted to remain silent and to user them out of her precinct as fast as she could but knew that would be impossible.

“I took care of it,” Byleth said in a whisper, loud enough that only Edelgard could hear her. It was another lie but it didn’t matter. The evidence technically had been taken care of, just not in the way that Edelgard wanted. She saw the corner of Edelgard’s lips turn up and knew that the information had been heard. Another bullet had been dodged? How long could she get away with this?

The illusion of having a conversation was shattered. Byleth didn’t know what to say to the pair. She was thankful that the walk to Seteth’s office wasn’t longer than a minute.

“We should get dinner sometime.”

Byleth nodded in agreement and offered her a smile. “That sounds great. Will you be joining us too, Hubert?” In order to assert her dominance, she kept her gaze steady. Was she looking directly into the eyes of a killer? Byleth prayed to Sothis that she wasn’t despite the evidence that said otherwise.

“We will be here for sometime, so I imagine so.” Short and to the point. At least Hubert didn’t waste her time in conversational pleasantries.

Before she could respond, Seteth greeted the pair and ushered them into his office. That was her queue to leave and she was thankful for it. She offered the two a wave and made her way back towards Dimitri’s desk. They were partners; she didn’t have to come up with an excuse to be seen with him at work.

Byleth leaned up against his desk, her hand on the handle of her gun at her hip. She wouldn’t pull it out in the station but it soothed her knowing that it was close. Dimitri was typing away but paused and turned his attention to her.

“Wanna go undercover with me?”

“And stick out like a sore thumb? No thanks.” The eyepatch made him an easy target. “Why are you asking?”

“Because Hubert said that they’re going to be here awhile and that’s not the impression I got from El a few days ago. I suggested dinner. I’m going to invite Dorothea, who is likely to invite Ingrid since they’re all but dating.”

“That’s not undercover work, By.” The idea of Ingrid being potentially in that situation made it worse. He understood the suggestion. It would be an excellent way to observe Hubert and see his micro reactions to the woman he had tried to kill.

“It is when you plan on using is sort of a reunion for those who were at the academy for the sakes of our investigation. So we’re looking at you, me, Edelgard, Felix, Sylvain, Ingrid, and Dorothea, at least. She might have found a different career path but she did finish the academy.” Byleth pursed her lips. “It gives us the change to do an investigation without surveillance on Hubert that would be obvious. Also gives us the chance to potentially bug him.” Byleth pulled out her phone. “Claude gave me the idea ages ago but I never had a reason to go for it.”

Dimitri glared. It was a decent idea but could blow up in their faces in and result in more chaos and death. He had been apprehensive of the idea but with Claude being involved, it made his blood boil with jealously. He knew he couldn’t use Ingrid as his scapegoat. She was already itching to get to work and hated her hospital bed.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why? If your reasoning it’s because Claude suggested it, I will hit you with a stack of case files.” Dimitri’s icy glare made her roll her eyes. “It’s all we got. It’s as close as we can get and maybe, just maybe, we can get a better idea of their connection.”

Before Dimitri could respond, his phone rang. The ringtone alone told him enough – it was dispatch. He answered the call, giving half-hearted yesses, and hung up. He pushed his hair back and stood up, grabbing his badge.

“Doesn’t matter right now because they caught someone trying to smother Ingrid’s hospital roommate. Ashe has them locked up at the hospital.”

“Sothis. Will this end anytime soon?” Byleth asked as she grabbed her phone, wallet and jacket.

“Guess we can only hope for the best.”


End file.
